sleeping with Tom Selleck
For a class assignment, my granddaughter needed to ‘ask an elder’ seven questions about their life. I was really tickled that she asked me. Hmmm, she also thinks I’m ancient, really old, and maybe over the hill. One of the questions was “Did you do everything you wanted to do?” I’m not sure about you, but that question has me with one foot in the grave. Don’t you think?
Did I do everything I wanted to do? Let me think about that, hmmm… “HELL NO!” I want to sleep with Tom Selleck before I die, geez. There are a lot of things I want to do yet besides Tom Selleck. I want to write a book, and I want to see my blog in The Globe and Mail. I would also like my inventions to go to market.
Let’s see… I want to be a size 8 again, ok, so maybe I was never a size 8, well, does being 8 years old once count? Alright, so skip that one. Voice lessons and learning to carry a tune, so when I’m singing, my kids won’t say, “Please don’t.” I also want to write a really great poem.
Doing all sorts of man things with ease, like fixing stuff, not peeing on a tree though, that’s disgusting, or peeing off the deck, like really? Figuring out how to handle a whipper snipper, cutting the tall weeds around stuff without my arms giving out, would be great, but I need to work out for that, ah, well.
Teaching or mentoring is on my wish list, as is learning Spanish. I especially want to teach my granddaughter how to make buns. This is only because I just learned myself last year, and it has brought me such great joy. I can actually make bread from scratch, like how cool is that? I want her to experience the satisfaction that comes from baking your own bread.
To run a marathon, ok, so maybe just walk it, na, I think I am over that one. Yep, scratch the marathons. I would love to dance like I was a teenager again. I guess I still do that, but instead of all night, it is only for one minute, then I need a 20-minute nap. What I’d really like is someone special to do the horizontal boogie with once in a while, preferably with someone who wants to ravish me, like maybe Tom?
Ok, now where was I? Oh… did I do everything I wanted to do? Well, I raised two wonderful kids as best I knew how. One is raising a family as best as she knows how, and the other is building an empire as best as he knows how.
I started and sold five businesses and achieved a measure of success with all of them. I’m proud of that. I even excelled in my own chosen profession while overturning many obstacles that came my way. Yes, I want to do more, but there is only so much time; I need to hurry.
I have already started the book, the inventions are coming along, and my blogging brings me such joy and peace. I have started on the ‘man stuff’ and quite enjoy mowing grass on the riding lawnmower (who knew that was going to be so much fun). I know how to fill batteries with water just above the bar for my golf cart and apply dry silicone on everything that won’t screw off, battery caps, or doesn’t slide easily, patio doors.
The purchase of two step stools to reach everything in those high cupboards, and one of those rubber thingy’s to loosen jar lids, lessens the pressure to have a man around. I bought a big comforter and satin sheets, and my bed just hugs me now. How nice is that? I think Tom would like it as well, ooops, my outside voice…
So, my answer to her question of doing everything I wanted to do? Of course not, because I’m not finished yet.
But wait, there is more, onto the next question ‘What to you, is the point of living?’ Well, hell’s bells, that’s the easiest question of all. I need to figure out how to get Tom into my bed. I don’t think it will be that easy. The point, my dear girl, is not to give up on your dreams. A life without dreaming would be a very uninspired life, don’t you think?
And I say unto you, what are your dreams, what would you do differently, and most importantly, whose shoes would you like under your bed, just once? Ok, I know, but you get the picture… right?
#lmbl (living my best life)
copyright
November, 2014
