I’m not sure how, where or when it happened.
Well maybe that’s not completely true.
It started when I began my lonely journey to put myself back together again. Somewhere deep inside of me, I finally found the courage to leave a relationship that almost destroyed my soul. My spirit was returning and healing itself while slowly but surely my best friend drifted away.
It was really hard to let her go because she was my best friend and confidant, the kind you confide your life to and you know they will keep your innermost secrets. My most used phrase was (and everyone knew it) : “ I only have one friend”.
We were kindred spirits and we confessed all to each other. We all need someone to help us navigate this bumpy and sometimes torturous route through life. That can be a mate or a partner, a spouse or in my case a best friend. SHE was my lifeline.
As my life got better and better she drifted farther and farther away. It was painful for me but even harder… who was I going to share my journey with? I have a travel buddy and she has been by me for many more years than my best friend , and she eventually became my best buddy.
We have travelled the world together and had so many good times. We are going to have more as well because … well … we haven’t been everywhere yet! But my travel buddy lives six hours away and she is not ‘on call’.
Sometimes you just have to let it go… kind of like that bird… you know, the one where you set it free and if it doesn’t come back to you , well… you hunt it down and kill it! That used to be our joke… and we could laugh and talk for hours, our sense of humour was sick but we got it… you know what I mean?
Losing her was painful but I finally let it go and got on with all the good things that were happening in my life. I made a new friend and my cousins along with my best buddy, helped me get me over the hump… so to speak.
My lost best friend reached out to me just recently when she lost her husband. I dropped everything to go and be with her, helping where I could. I was being careful… sometimes relationships end for a reason.
I felt so bad for her genuine grief at the funeral. I actually felt it and reached over and hugged her saying, it will be ok … it will be ok…
A few tentative visits, after, to see how she was doing, a supper out, still cautious… A few more calls… and then I called her this morning and we talked.
We decided to meet for breakfast and what a breakfast it was! We cautiously made our way back to each other and although I was ‘on the fence’ I could feel something happening.
The breakfast morphed into a couple of hours, an exchange of our feelings and our hurts, our joys, our losses and eventually our kids. How I missed this easy give and take and losing yourself in someone else’s life.
I felt her taking tentative steps toward a different life for herself and I am so glad I am here at this moment right now, to share it with her.
We are back!! We didn’t need much to get back to here… an acknowledgement of the pain we both felt… was enough. I felt tears welling and my heart is a little fuller and I feel really good!
I have my best friend back… and we get to share each others journeys… or… what is left of them , ah… well… the best is yet to come… don’t you think?