sex after 60 (and not mph)

Sex after Sixty (and not mph)

Intimacy in a relationship should be the norm, but apparently it isn’t. My curiosity knows no bounds, I guess, and trying to figure out what to expect from a relationship keeps me guessing. What should I know? Am I being unrealistic? Can you have fantastic sex again after a long marriage, and into old age? God, I sure hope so.

Excuse my ramblings, but this is not a subject that is easily discussed. Sure, as females, we laugh and joke about our ‘love life’ or lack of it, but what we don’t discuss is the reality of it all. Are you happy with your intimacy level, or are you unhappy? I am only referring to the over-50 age group, well, ok, over-60! Some might wonder (kids and grandkids) if we still have sexual urges at that age, well, kids, if we’re not supposed to… you’d better get me neutered!

The emotional journey in our relationships or marriage encompasses all aspects of our daily lives and not just sex. Sex, I think, plays a bigger role in our beginning years and is all-important in cementing the ‘bond’. Without sexual release, I think the daily stress of living together with another person would be unbearable, and it may just keep us from killing each other! 

The start of any relationship is always foreplay; kissing, touching, and embracing are a big part of establishing that ‘bond’, don’t you think? Then, of course, there is the sex part, which is always exciting in the beginning, but needs some nurturing later on to keep it alive and well. How much, you ask? Hmmm… that is a really good question.

This is what I think, it should always be exciting or at least satisfying! Ok, sometimes you just do it for the other person’s sake. You do it because you want to keep them happy, or you are sick of their whining; either way, it is still a loving gesture and deserves respect. Do we also grant sexual favors in return for something, of course not, ok so that’s a lie, and I’m guilty.

There are also the lulls or ‘dry spells’, and it will pick up again after a while, or a night out on the town with alcohol. Oh, ya! Lock the doors and cover your ears, this could get downright loud and dirty. Too much alcohol, and it turns into a long, dragged-out erotic thought that didn’t quite pan out but seemed like a good idea at the time.

Then there are the times you secretly hate that other person (really, or is it just hurt feelings… na, it is hate), and that could turn into a really long dry spell. Everything looks good on the surface but look underneath and you could get scorched! “What’s wrong with you anyway?” Let me count the ways…

I like discussing my friends’ love lives, I’m not a pervert, just curious. I have discerned a disturbing trend, or have I been living under a rock? There are a lot of us, my age, that are sleeping in separate beds and… and… not even having sex at all!!!!!

Seems like such a waste to me and I want to know why. Oh sure, not all are abstaining, we do have our secret lovers in a box or Ziploc bag, hidden somewhere, ready to spring into action. Get that motor humming lol, but you get the picture. If my kids are reading this, I just made this shit up.

The thing is, we all need human touch, and the secret lover IS NOT HUMAN! Get rid of it and put your imagination to use in the relationship, unless you mutually agree to the abstinence. Kissing, touching, holding hands, hugging, and cuddling are acceptable alternatives. Saying “I love you” and other really nice things to each other also count. Saying “well I sleep with you, don’t I?” IS NOT A TERM OF ENDEARMENT…

Sorry, but I just don’t get it… why? Intimacy in a relationship is so important to our very well-being. My search continues, I want it all. I know it’s out there, and I also know ‘sex after sixty’ can be the best and even better than you have ever had before. How do I know? Well, that is a story for another blog post… I may even write a book.

We as women need to explore our sexual sides and own them. Most of us are missing out on a huge, pleasurable part of being a woman, and it is never too late. Trust me, the best is yet to come…

copyright

October 31, 2016