hand job .. or hand-over your job, older marrieds (read this)

imagesEY0M6NURDo you ever wonder how your life is going to turn out? Maybe you already know that.. you are married and plan to live happily ever after. Well we all know that is not true. Some will always struggle to find happiness, others just to find peace, most grow away from each other and a lot of us are cutting our losses and starting out anew.

There are married couples I see here and at home, that really do still enjoy each other’s company and strive to make their partners happy. You know who they are, others put on a great front and then there are those that don’t even bother. What I find astonishing .. although six years ago I thought I was alone, is that our age group is the fastest growing demographics for divorces.

Women are good at adapting to most situations, we are the nurturers the peacemakers the cheerleaders and the nurses for what-ever or who-ever is ailing. Seems like we are always tending to everyone’s needs and wants.. but is anyone tending to ours?untitled (42)

I can understand the middle aged man (well no I never did understand that) seeking out his lost youth in a younger woman. Well it seems older women are starting to take stock of what life has left to offer them. Not liking what we see .. seems we are terminating our long term marriages in droves!

The women aren’t seeking out a younger sex mate.. hell no, (well maybe some are) most aren’t even getting it on with their old one. If it is  a ‘sex thing’ then we should have brothels for women as well as men, then everyone could live happily ever after.. have their cake and eat it too.

imagesM6OEZ8RKOn the contrary.. I think it is just a matter of learning how to adapt and change as we age..  and expressing our changing desires. Mine told me flat out he was never going to change .. he made my decision to leave easy. Well it is never easy leaving a long term marriage (over forty years for me).

Had he been willing to make an effort to accommodate some of my wants .. well the ending may have been much different for us. I think a lot of men, that are so used to the status quo and being catered too, are in for a big surprise as retirement looms.

This is not rocket science, it is quite simple and why is it so hard to understand I wonder? We were conditioned to keep our man happy to keep him at home.. it was a different generation back then. But the saying ‘happy wife happy life’ is not resonating with the older guys, they are still living in their own fantasy bubble.

The younger generation understands sharing.. everything .. well maybe not childbirth.. but there is a device out there that simulates birthing contractions and it has made grown men cry! It is now ok for men to cry, and share household chores too.. btw.imagesVWT2J1Q2

The thing is.. you really need to put your partner first.. fill her or his needs and it has to be mutual. See.. us older gals were taught to keep our men happy.. but our men dropped the ball with us. The bubble has burst and all these bewildered men are wondering why supper isn’t on the table.

The sexual part is moot I think, if you have kept up the intimacy part with touching and kissing, holding hands and cuddling. Women are emotional creatures and if our emotional needs are met we will never leave.. ever! Men will leave for sexual needs .. emotionally that is how they are wired.

imagesCFDVPF16Emotional and sexual intimacy together is an amazing experience and one that is worth living, fighting and even dying for (and yes I actually believe that). Each on it’s own will sustain a relationship .. but not having either will surely kill it..  and it should die, but not a long and painful death.. ok?

There are a lot of reasons why we are leaving these marriages behind .. but it doesn’t have to be this way!! Wakeup and pay attention.. look after your partners emotional wellbeing or even their sexual wellbeing, if that is the case. Better to give a hand job than to hand over your job.. for someone else to appreciate what you are going to be missing.. for the rest of your life.images3GLZHNND

I welcome your input if you read this… do you agree with me or do you have some other insight?