“What’s wrong with you?” .. my girlfriend asks me, after I shared a dating story with her. That is what friends are for I guess, her words have been haunting me for the last two days. WHAT IS WRONG with me.. why can’t I find a nice normal guy to share some of my life with?
My dating life is not something I go into detail here because my kids sometimes stumble onto my blog. This blog today is an exception.. only because I need to explore this new kink my girlfriend has thrown at me.Writing brings me answers and helps me figure out the puzzles life throws my way.. every once in awhile I get an ‘aha’ moment.
This may be an x-rated blog.. I am single and over sixty, and yes I still have a sex life! Making my kids ears bleed is something that happens quite often. Why is it kids don’t think you have sex when you age? I seem to want more of it now than I did in my forties and fifties.
IN FACT (close your eyes kiddos) I have had some of the best sex in the last seven years and maybe that is where this desire comes from. I happen to know some women that have never had an orgasm and some have been married for years .. in fact this is not unusual, although I can’t wrap my head around that .. really?
Another eye-opener if you will.. if we are not satisfied in the bedroom we have sex toys to play with.. just saying.. It is not a one size fits all either, there is all kinds of sizes and shapes and.. and.. but I digress. ( maybe use them sparingly when in a good relationship .. they tend to de-sensitize.. just sayin)
For some of you that are abstaining from your husband sexually, for what ever reason.. be aware he may eventually go outside of the marriage bed. He doesn’t want to, but if you have quit sleeping with him, you have given up a very important part of sharing your life. Kissing, cuddling and holding hands can be a substitute for that.. if it is intimate and loving.
Personally I am a fan of kissing and holding hands.. NEVER give up kissing in a marriage, it is the glue. I have been kissed with such intense, loving.. and almost spiritually orgasmic feelings that it has left me breathless and in awe. These are not the teenager kind of kisses, these are pure unadulterated curl your toes.. kind of kisses.
This curl your toes joy is courtesy of a lover that shared what intimacy can be like.. and how did I not know this? How many of us go through the motions in marriage thinking that if we are having sexual relations (and they can be great) then all is well? BUT when the sex ceases, for what ever reason.. what’s left? ahhhh.. there-in lies the problem!
The kissing, the holding and cuddling are all part and parcel of intimacy.. IN AND OUT of the bedroom! IN FACT it starts outside of the bedroom, a glance, an email or a text, a soft touch of your hand.. a kiss on the back of the neck. Don’t be stingy with your love, I’ll bet no one ever left a marriage because of too much kissing!
It is time to tackle her question head on.. I don’t think there is anything basically wrong with me. Finding a suitable lover or boyfriend is just harder when we get older. First off it is an age thing for the men, some have issues as they age. We women are more sexually ‘unfettered’ and are finally enjoying this freedom and therefore .. well you get the picture.
I want it all this time around, only because now I KNOW what it can be like. If I didn’t know then it wouldn’t matter, but I do.. and it does! My trouble is.. I make allowances and give men the benefit of the doubt. I will allow lots of leeway to make the magic happen. I really don’t want to settle for less.. but dam.. I seem to be kissing a lot of frogs looking for my hypothetical ‘prince’.
There are the one night stands.. and nothing wrong with that, I am single and we are liberated women. Some are mutually satisfying, (personally I am not a fan) while others turn out to be porn-addicted males looking for outside stimulus or scenarios to get them off. Oh.. and they do have major problems getting it off with a real woman.
There is also mother f###ers.. this is a little sick and another one that had issues. Where do men get these weird ideas from anyway and I always wondered what that term meant, now I know. Oh and we can’t leave out the young guys that think it is cool to get it on with a milf or a gilf.. go figure!
There was the weird hippie dude that chanted “kiss my fingers.. kiss my fingers!” and I’ll leave that to your imagination.. some weed may have been involved here and no one was hurt. I don’t make this shit up, trust me. (whoever said sex is the best thing you can do without laughing? ok.. so you had to be there..lol)
The last date I had, told me all about his recent girlfriend.. the one that he took to Europe and wouldn’t sleep with him (but she finally relented). As well as with-holding sex, she had a lot of health issues like an unusual skin disorder and fibromyalgia, she also had a wooden leg.. ya I know, information overload (I thought that too at the time). She basically treated him like shit.. but he was still mourning her loss.. she left him! (that was only one week prior to our ‘date’)
I just want a normal relationship that is easy and fun and positive. It can even be part-time and not a ‘to death do us part’ scenario (been there done that). I do want the sexual intimacy but please no weirdo’s.. ! Relating this last date to my girlfriend was what prompted her to say.. “what is wrong with you?”
I was trying to figure out why this guy hadn’t called me for another date .. and she was basically telling me why would I even want to go out with him again? and you know what.. she is right! “if he is sharing all that personal info about her with you.. what is he going to say about you?” .. good point girlfriend!
Maybe I was zeroing in on the fact he was taking a trip through Italy by car and stopping at romantic bed and breakfasts along the way. That trip appealed to my adventurous spirit and god knows how I love to explore new places. I don’t stop to think about the ‘what ifs?’
So I have come to the conclusion that there is probably nothing wrong with me.. I am maybe too nice. I already know I am naïve when it comes to men. I need to screen them better and if they don’t call me back then that could be a good thing. There is only this one thing I need to have now.. a decent kisser (see above) and a hand -holder. I confess, I have left them in the dust as well.. if after a trial period you don’t make my heart sing.. what is the point?
ps that guy did message me back and figured we were on two different levels and he was right.. I am on a much higher level… lol
copyright September 2017