Living with pain and anger must be really hard.. how do some people cope I wonder? Living with being selfish is a different cat.. how do I explain it? Spreading myself around for others is draining.. especially when you give your heartfelt self and you still see these people suffer.
I am talking about friends and family here. Especially some friends that need so much attention that you feel guilty when you don’t respond to their needs. Family is a different matter they like to keep stuff to themselves and it is hard to pull it out.
Trying to reach a nirvana here may never be attainable, but not for a lack of trying. We learn something everyday we are on the upside of the dirt.. sometimes it is painful and other times it is astonishing!
Next time you wake up totally negative.. and I mean really down and out ugly.. nothing is going to be good about this day ahead, and it is the worst day ever, and besides that.. it is that time of month!!! Well.. just go back to bed.. ok that just blurted outta me.. sorry.
DO THIS INSTEAD..Try just to clear it all from your mind and say the heck with it! (I am trying to clean up my potty mouth) say to yourself.. I am going to be happy today and nothing is going to change that! (and if that doesn’t work .. then go back to bed!)
If need be, do this every morning before you even get out of bed .. (well ok we all have those days.. ) but most days when I feel the weight of the world coming on I have to remind myself that if I feel really shitty it’s ME and no one else can MAKE me feel this unhappy.. only I can allow them that power.
I have a choice here and it is so much easier on me to live this day through if I choose happy .. just sayin. It will eventually just come naturally.
Lets face it, we are not miracle workers and we can only do so much to help and counsel and listen or even get involved in others lives. What I’m saying is I try not to make their problems my own anymore. It only makes my load heavier and am I being selfish because I don’t want to carry that around?
Same with how we inter-act with other people, I like most people and really.. we all come from the same mold. Sometimes our encounters with them can change their attitude from a negative to a positive. Well unless you annoy the piss out of them, then.. well.. just shut your mouth..lol… waw… but.. but..
I miss my kids and my grandkids terribly.. there is nothing I can do to change that so I just don’t dwell on it. Stuff that is beyond my control I just need to accept and move on. I wish they would at least call me more often but I know it is not a priority to them .. nor should it be. ‘flushed and gone’
I have a friend that is suffering and nothing I did or said really helped her change her circumstance.. it just didn’t. Sometimes you just need to let it go or it will frustrate the hell outta you. YOU cannot change ANYONE.. BUT my friend you can change yourself!
Give yourself permission to let go of the things you cannot change. Selfish.. I hope not.. we need to look after ourselves. Worrying about others or our job or our finances is ok to a point.. but really, unless it is something you can physically do to change it .. relax. It will set you free.. I promise!
While you’re at it smile today.. it will make you happy.. and if it doesn’t, maybe it will make someone else happy. Doesn’t hurt to crack a smile.. unless you’ve got a whopping cold sore or cracked lips or your face is frozen from the dentist.. oh man I’m not going there!
I’m not saying we are going to live happily ever after.. I still have heart-ache.. when you love the people close to you it is hard to watch them suffer. But if it is not something I can change, I’m sorry, but I need to move on. If I am on the suffering end.. and sometimes I am.. well.. dammit.. I flush it, because today I am going to be happy…
Besides my friend .. there is always someone worse off than you..
Oh.. and.. I am the oldest of seven .. three of my younger siblings are gone! But I am still on the upside of the dirt.. I don’t have the luxury of time to waste on things I cannot change…