The missing sausages.. Fernie BC road trip

The mountains and beautiful scenery of Fernie British Columbia were promising to make this road trip a fun adventure. I needed to finish up my business dealings with an Italian couple that resided there. They possessed the title to the property I was buying in Arizona.. without that title you don’t own squat!

 Picking up my travel buddy girlfriend, we set off to Calgary from Edmonto. We ended up in Okotoks Alberta where girlfriends son bought us supper at a trendy place called just ‘George’! This place was packed and maybe ‘wing night’ and the Stanley cup hockey series had something to do with that.

 Now Okotoks is really a name that defies description, but it is  derived from the Blackfoot Native nation describing a big rock formation that was left as a landmark from  the worlds largest known erratic glacier.. .bet ya didn’t know that! Something else that isn’t well known is that little ole Okotoks has north Americas first solar heated community built in 2007!

These 52 houses have 800 solar panels on their roofs collecting energy to be used for heating.  2012 this community achieved a world record by managing a 97%  solar fraction….meaning they heated all their homes for a whole year (this is snow country remember) 97% by solar! Pretty good huh?

Girlfriends son has a best friend that owns an old Victorian house  operating a bed and breakfast, so we decided to spend the night there. Lots of antiques which I am really not a fan of, but this is much better than a sterile hotel room. The owner is a friend of my travel buddy as well and she makes us feel welcome and right at home . There are even real original chenille bedspreads on our beds.

I guess I could describe the antiques but they hold no interest for me.. much more interesting is the solar community and the big ole rock formation 4 miles west of town.

  I was up early doing my emails, in our own little cozy space, at the top of the stairs that also serves as a eating area. The hostess proprietor  pops her head in to say she is bringing us breakfast. Sharon is now up and we are enjoying the coffee and fresh fruit that she has delivered to us.

Our lovely breakfast arrives in the form of scrambled eggs and little fat breakfast sausages along with wholewheat toast . I glance up when I hear a hissing sound.. what the heck? It is Sharon whispering to me from across the table (Sharon never whispers anything) “what?” I say?

 ”Do you like sausages?” she hisses again… “well uh, yes I guess”  I say. “I can’t eat these !!!” she hisses, ‘why?’ I hiss back! “Because when I was pregnant with Nick I got really sick after eating sausages and I can’t eat pork sausages to this day!”  “you can’t NOT eat them” I hiss back.  See.. I think that would be so rude because she went to all this trouble to make us such a nice breakfast. BUT  now after eating one myself I realize she has put a little syrup glaze on em and I don’t want to eat them either, oh crap ! Now what are we gonna do ?

 My girlfriend whisperss “lets flush em down the toilet!”  and right away I have visions of these little suckers floating and not going down, “no way!” I whisper back ”I am not picking em outta the toilet if they don’t flush!”.

I apologize to our host when she comes to check on our progress and ask for ketchup. (see I think if we smear them with ketchup we can get em down.) She brings the ketchup and I manage to eat all but one and my girlfriend manages half of one before she starts to gag.

 We agree we need to get rid of them so we don’t hurt her feelings. My girlfriend goes into our bedroom and comes back with a little plastic baggie and we hurriedly shove the rest of the sausages into it.

She disappears back into the bedroom and when she comes out I ask her what she did with them. “ I stuck them in my shoe” she hisses at me.. omg and wth? I snort coffee out my nose from laughing! Why would she stick em in her shoe, like really ? .. now we are both laughing so hard we have tears in our eyes, our host comes in and clears our clean plates and we rave about the breakfast and contain ourselves as best we can.

 I wish I had a real cool ending for this story but I don’t. We are back on our way to Fernie when I ask her where the sausages got to, she says “I ended up flushing them down the toilet and they went down!” I glance down at her feet and say.. ya know your toes kinda look like.. “just shut up ” she hisses at me.


Cherylle Sloboda Winacott's photo.

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