Broken families are surely a pain.. but sometimes our well being makes it necessary to go this route. Two sets of parents and grandparents are becoming the norm, step-children and half sisters and brothers.. the list goes on. That is just one marital break-up, pity the families with two or three breakups and remarriages.
So it is that I dress with extra care to spend the afternoon with my kids and my ex-husband and his girlfriend.. a birthday celebration. It has been several gloriously happy years (for me) since we have spent time in one room together, today is the day. The kids have miraculously managed to keep us apart, while celebrating many birthdays and holidays.. no mean feat.
This has been a long time coming and to be truthful, I have no qualms about this. I figure the sooner we do this the easier it will be on my children (well.. our children). It is hard on all to figure out dates and times to spend with each of us. The sooner we all get together and manage civility .. the better.
One of my kids is divorced and my poor grandchildren are even more hard pressed to fit in all the parents and grandparents from various family and partners and, and.. well, you get the picture. So I dress with care, although I don’t care about him anymore, it is important he sees this amazing well put-together vision, he let slip away.. ok, so a little humor/truth here.
My time in the single lane has been fraught with many inconveniences and adventures.. good and bad. But never once have I doubted my decision to venture out on my own. Ok.. so it took me 40 years to make that decision and it was not all one-sided, I’m sure he was as relieved as I was. As I slip out the door, I tuck an icepick into the bottom of my purse.
It is a beautiful day and my excitement is high.. I sprung for a 14′ trampoline for my daughters birthday. She is in her forties but is helping raise another second younger family with her now partner. What do you get a middle-aged woman (she is going to kill me for that) that has two grown kids and two younger ones in the wings?
I had a little extra money that hasn’t burned a hole in my pocket, and I wanted to get her something special. Did I mention she gifted me with Cher tickets for Xmas? (I am sooo looking forward to that concert). My thoughts were also on her new family and getting something they all could enjoy.
New family sounds stupid because they have been together for many years and second family sounds even worse. We need a whole new set of words to inter-act with all of these different family dynamics. Some think its ok to call their ex an a__hole, but that is kinda crude, but not as bad as some other words I guess.. geez
Fast forward to setting up my daughters birthday gift, the anticipation is high from my extra special grandchild from this now relationship. Enter.. the Ex and his girlfriend into the back yard. “oh.. I see someone has bought that cheap trampoline at Canadian Tire” he says for all to hear. Just as he starts into yet another cheap shot, I speak up “yes.. it is my birthday gift to them” I say sweetly.
The ex doesn’t miss a beat as he exclaims “and its a dandy!” The afternoon progresses more or less uneventful as I consume more alcohol and take a cheap shot of my own.. “ummm .. are you allowed to drink alcohol being on heart medication?”
I immediately feel bad/not really, as he stammers out various explanations like one drink is ok .. well maybe more on occasion. I decide to cut myself off the alcohol, and instead concentrate on helping my daughter with the meal. She has invited a lot of people for this special occasion and is working her butt off.
The “cheap trampoline from Canadian Tire” is the hit of the afternoon, and I am thrilled. My sons birthday is coming up and his daughter is just two and she is smitten with this new toy. My other special granddaughter was also into it and already doing flips! My gift to my son a week from today is going to be this same trampoline.
The meal was delicious, the company was fun, and I totally enjoyed this day with my family. The ex and his girlfriend were sociable and all was good. We need to set an example for broken families to get together and get along, for all of our kids sakes..
As I leave I finger the icepick in the bottom of my purse, it was not to maim anyone, in case that is what you were thinking. Well I’m not gonna lie.. I almost used it once.. to poke my ears out, some things never change.. just sayin..