Do not resuscitate .. !!!

“Why is your dad in a home” I ask a friend needing a ride to the airport, so I offered. His dad is only a few years older than me. “Well dad was forgetting things.” “Like what?” I enquire. “Well for instance the keys to his front door..” in my head I am silently screaming.. “I am always forgetting my keys somewhere!!!” But I don’t say it out loud..

“He was also not eating properly, for instance he’d eat cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.” I eat a lot of cereal too, I tell him, it is easier than cooking something. My favorite is frosted flakes and frosted shredded wheat, but I keep that info to myself. The last thing I need is a sugar lecture my kids usually give me.

“Dad was also lonely, if he went out to eat it was usually Tim Hortons for chili and he would sit by himself.” Well pack my bags and ship me off to a home.. I’m thinking/not thinking. This is kinda scary, but maybe not far off from what is happening around me..

I resolve to keep my keys in sight at all times and hide the huge boxes of breakfast cereal that are in my cupboard. Not hiding them from me (although at my age this is possible) but so my kids don’t think I eat a lot of cereal. I do open up a can of salmon once in awhile and a can of diced tomatoes and toast is one of my favorites.

I tell my kids that if I am left in a vegetative state from an accident to please pull the plug. They assure me that even if it is a broken foot they will sign a ‘do not resuscitate order’ no problem. They are kidding of course, but are they? I  would be lying if I say I don’t worry about stuff like this.

As we age we do forget things and although I will never forget my first love.. I am hard pressed to remember the last names of my last two boyfriends. One I dated a year and the other over several months, but still, what the heck was his name, anyway? Hmmm.. my kids say things like “mom.. don’t you remember I told you that?” I quickly chime in .. of course I do! (NOT.. !!)

I haven’t forgotten to turn the stove off in awhile and wouldn’t admit to it if I did. Forgot my phone at home three times in the last month, it was charging so that doesn’t count. I didn’t really want that baked potatoe left in the microwave, see.. I cracked open a fresh box of frosted flakes while waiting. It was soooo good I had two bowls. Hmmm..  am I forgetting something?

Eating alone at restaurants is normal for me, Tim Hortons is take-out only though, I do draw a line.. loll. I feel bad for his dad and hope he has made lots of friends in this home. I like to think I remember the important stuff.. I do forget to take that stupid pill at night sometimes… damn! It’s probably not that important.. I am still here right?

Its true I don’t have total recall anymore, but I never had it in the first place, so who cares? I can recall the important stuff, my first love, the first time I ate cheesecake, and the joy of my children and grandchildren (my kids sometimes read my blog.. just sayin).

I will never forget nor regret my decision to make my own life after forty years of ‘togetherness’. Forgetting some things is a blessing, we don’t need to remember the bad, learning from it is enough. Everything that happens to us should be thoughtfully digested and transformed into positive energy.. moving forward .. or spat out never to be eaten again.

There is just too much information overload nowadays anyway. I prefer to think I have selective memory, I select the memories I want to keep. The ones I ‘forget’ are those that are not important right now. I won’t need those keys until I get home.. or if I forgot your name.. well, be happy I didn’t forget your birthday, or did I? hmmm..

Please be patient with me.. it would not do well to put me in a home.. I would disrupt the whole place I’m sure. On second thought, if there are a few good men in there.. well I could stay for awhile and check it out.. Na.. I’ll organize a world cruise with some inmates and we’ll explore the world, first class.. cheaper than a home!! .. or so I’ve been told..