Shoot out at OK Corral “Parkie Style”

Shoot Out at OK Corral “Parkie Style”

The day started off innocently enough.  My girlfriend and I made a new friend at the pool.  We go most nights because we seem to be busy most days.  Turns out he is visiting his uncle who lives across the street and two doors up from me.  He is also an electrician so we’re really happy to make his acquaintance.

We have been doing a lot of  ‘man stuff’ but I think the electrical is a little tricky. Did I mention that I am scared to death of lightning and such?  I keep a low profile either in a closet or under the covers, I can’t quite get under the bed anymore, in a lightning storm.  Like that is gonna stop it from striking me dead!

Maybe I was struck dead by lightning in another life or maybe I got the electric chair.. hmmm no matter, I’d sooner leave it alone.  Well along comes the electrician guy (I asked his advice about changing out a ceiling fan) and he offers to do it for me!  That is the best offer I’ve had all week so I run out and buy the fan I have been coveting at Home Depot.

Did I mention this electrician is retired and kinda looks like Tom Selleck only in a messier kinda way, sorta like the bedroom look?  He is also full of jokes and never seems to tire of telling them.  Most jokes go over my head for some reason, but I listen raptly and laugh, and try to figure them out later.

He also likes chocolate cake,  brownies, and the homemade buns I took to his uncles the other day in return for lending me a corkscrew to open a wine bottle, very important.  He has also offered to fix my girlfriend’s screen door when she makes an appearance and we both ogle him while he is putting up my fan.

We are into it, well one is into it while two are ogling when we hear gunshots coming from half a block down.  My girlfriend runs out into the street and the electrician guy tells her to get back in here. Never run into the street when you hear gunfire down here.  We are unsure what to do when we hear more shots and the electrician guy sees muzzle fire coming from the side of that house and I see puffs of dirt fly up from the driveway after the shots.

The sirens in the distance caught our attention and then nothing when all of a sudden three police cars drove into view just past my house, parking crossways on the street. Police come out and draw their guns pointed in the direction of the house.  Another one comes walking past my place with what looks like an AKA Assault rifle hmmm.. how do I know that, but it can’t be, can it?

I peek my head out the door and up the street and it is full of police cars.  It’s getting a little tense and I’m thinking oh crap what the hell is this all about?  Guns and rifles are drawn and a loudspeaker comes on informing the inhabitants of the house “this is the police come out with your hands up in the air.”

Ok now, this is so weird on a Saturday afternoon, in a gated ‘adults-only’ over 55 yrs’ park, to have an episode of a police drama unfolding before our very eyes.  Thank god, we have Tom Selleck, uh I mean.. electrician guy to protect us.  They shout out on the loudspeaker again, the place is literally crawling with armed police guns drawn.

We are watching all this from my screened-in patio and yes I am taking pictures and video (so ok.. this doesn’t happen every day and in fact, it has never happened to me) thank goodness. Finally, some action from the house out walks this bewildered old man with a wrench and a screwdriver in his hands and they are yelling at him to “drop his weapons and put up his hands!”

A Swat team then enters his house to search out more felons.  It turns out the old guy is partially deaf and he is working on getting this old model T ford truck to run and it is backfiring quite a bit.  It sounds like a freaking shotgun.. there were several calls to 911.  We ended up with twenty police cars surrounding us.  I think the least they coulda done was take that dam truck into custody.. don’t you?

Okay, now where was I? Oh ya.. the electrician gets back to work and we get back into ogling mode.  He finished up with the ceiling fan and as payment, I offered to sleep with him.

(please note I offer to sleep with anyone that gives me a deal or will they give me a deal if I sleep with them?) fortunately, I can do that because I’m old.. nobody takes me seriously and I can get away with a lot of outrageous remarks! (and who knows, I may even get lucky… lol).

I offered up my sister once (she is 18 years younger than me) to get a suite in a hotel in Vegas. I knew I had him when he asked what she looked like.  By the way, my sister and I have the same warped sense of humor.

So electrician is leaving to go do my girlfriend’s place and he says “so.. are you going to bake me a chocolate cake?” and I say “do I look like Betty Crocker to you?” and I swear that is the gods’ TRUTH .. that was our exchange, just like that stupid joke. (and that is probably why he said it… haha)

Did I mention how much I really like this place? See “Parkie Life in the desert”.

in Yuma Az

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November 27th, 2014