Well the day started off innocently enough. Girlfriend and I made a new friend at the pool. We go most nights because we seem to be busy most days. Turns out he is visiting his uncle that lives across the street and two doors up from me. He is also an electrician so we are really happy to make his acquaintance.
We have been doing a lot of ‘man stuff’ but I think the electrical is a little tricky. Did I mention that I am scared to death of lightning and such? Yep. I keep a low profile (in a closet ..or under the covers, can’t quite get under the bed anymore ..lol) in a lightning storm.. like that is gonna stop it from striking me dead!
Maybe I was struck dead by lightning in another life or maybe I got the electric chair.. hmmm no matter I’d sooner leave it alone. Well along comes electrician guy (I asked his advice about changing out a ceiling fan) and offers to do it for me! Well that is the best offer I’ve had all week so I run out and buy the fan I have been coveting at Home Depot.
Did I mention this electrician is retired and kinda looks like Tom Selleck only in a messier kinda way.. sorta like the bedroom look. .hmmm (be still my beating heart). He is also full of jokes and never seems to tire of telling them. Most jokes go over my head for some reason, but I listen raptly and laugh.. and try to figure them out later.
He also likes chocolate cake, brownies and the homemade buns I took to his uncles the other day, in return for lending me a corkscrew to open a wine bottle, very important !! He has also offered to fix my girlfriends screen door when she makes an appearance and we both ogle him while he is putting up my fan.
We are into it (well one is into it while two are ogling) when we hear gunshots coming from half block down.. my girlfriend runs out into the street and electrician guy tells her to get back in here. Never run into the street when you hear gunfire down here. Well we are unsure what to do when we hear more shots and electrician sees muzzle fire coming from the side of that house and I see puffs of dirt past the driveway shooting up after the shots.
We hear sirens in the distance and then nothing when all of a sudden three police cars drive into view just past my house and park crossways on the street. Police come out and draw their guns pointed in direction of the house. Another one comes walking past my place with what looks like an aka assault rifle (hmmm.. how do I know that?) but can’t be.. can it?
I peek my head out the door and up the street and it is full of police cars.. it is getting a little tense and I’m thinking oh crap.. what the hell is this all about? Well guns and rifles are drawn and loud speaker comes on informing inhabitants that this is the police and to come out with their hands up in the air.
Ok now this is so weird on a Saturday afternoon in a gated ‘adultsonly’ (translates to over 55 yrs) park, to have an episode of a police drama unfolding before our very eyes! Thank god we have Tom Selleck .. uh.. I mean.. electrician friend to protect us! They shout out on the loudspeaker again .. the place is literally crawling with armed police.. guns drawn.
We are watching all this from my screened in patio and yes I am taking pictures and video (so ok.. this doesn’t happen everyday and in fact it has never happened to me) thank goodness. Finally some action from the house .. out walks this bewildered old man with a wrench and a screw driver in his hands and they are yelling at him to drop his weapons and put up his hands!
Swat team then enters his house to search out more felons!! Ok ..it turns out the old guy is partially deaf and he is working on getting this old model T ford truck to run and it is backfiring quite a bit. Sounds like a freaking shotgun.. there were several calls to 911. We ended up with twenty police cars surrounding us! I think the least they coulda done was take that dam truck into custody!.. don’t you?
Ok now where was I.. oh ya.. electrician gets back to work and we get back into ogling mode . He finishes up with the ceiling fan and as payment I offered to sleep with him.
(please note I offer to sleep with anyone that gives me a deal or will they give me a deal if I sleep with them?) you can do that when you are old.. nobody takes you seriously and you can get away with a lot of outrageous remarks! (and who knows.. I might even get lucky… lol).
I offered up my sister once to get a suite in a hotel in Vegas and I knew I had him when he asked what she looked like .. btw.. my sister and I have the same warped sense of humor.
So electrician is leaving to go do girlfriends place and he says “so.. are you going to bake me a chocolate cake?” and I say “do I look like Betty Crocker to you?” and I swear that is the gods TRUTH .. that was our exchange.. just like that stupid joke!!!! (and that is probly why he said it… haha)
Did I mention how much I really like this place? See “Parkie Life in the desert”.