Two glorious days off.. my writing has dwindled down to almost nothing. My stories are bundled up inside of me waiting for me to exhale! Time is what I have precious little of these days. A glorious story of happy, and a traumatic one.. still fresh enough to make me mumble, choke up even, when trying to relate it to a new friend. (that one is for my next blog)
Whom of you believes in dreams? Most that know me know I am a dreamer, a believer in karma and also of destiny. We are capable.. as women, of doing great things, I believe we can change the world. One woman at a time, each of us standing up for what is right and what is wrong.
This is not going to be a soapbox blog.. just me relating stuff that happens in my life and how I cope with it or not. Its true I choose optimism over pessimism, not always that easy, but I try. Being single for the last nine years and an older woman (yes older woman are more fun.. and that just popped out, lol) has its own challenges.
As of late, my experiences with the opposite sex have been less than stellar. This last one that seemed promising, turned out to be a sexist misogynist, and racially prejudiced to boot! Wow.. he was educated and had a masters even, cooked and sewed (quilts yet!) gardening .. yada yada. The perfect man.. hah!
The saving grace with that one, was an hour long phone call! The only reason it was so long was that I was in dis-belief at some of the things he was relating to me. Lord give me patience, this one was truly a testament to why some women change sides.. just sayin..
How can it be that hard to meet someone, you may wonder? Well truth is.. its not that hard (I could insert a joke here but I will resist) age has its compromises. I am still a sexy, beautiful and viable (not pliable though) woman on the inside.. I’m just cloaked in layers of living a well worn life on the outside.
With that encounter (by phone, thank goodness) and someone I researched pretty thoroughly (googled) my optimism took a nosedive. My spirit is just not in this anymore, was that an ‘aha’ moment? Deciding to live a celibate life is kinda cruel too, I do keep a supply of batteries on hand.. so to speak. Sorry kids another eyebleeder oy….
Our spirit is what keeps us in sync with our life-force, I am eternally searching for peace, love and happiness and dare I say ‘balance’. We strive for these for our children, our families, our friends.. and least of all, for ourselves! That is part and parcel of being a woman.. and I am definitely ok with that.
So here I am balancing all these life forces and coming to terms with maybe living the rest of my life without someone special to share my love with. Its not like its going to be a lifetime, I am into my third and final chapter after-all. If I live to 100 years old .. then I will start a fourth life, change my name to Gladys Cherryblossom and live happily ever-after.
My ‘dream’ last night was a game changer, that’s why I asked if you believe in dreams? Upon awakening, my spirit is so joyful and happy, it’s like a rebirth of sorts. There he was.. in my dreams, a joyfilled, loving man lifting me up (no mean feat) and twirling me not once, but many times, with pure love and fun and dare I say adoration.. that he had found ME!
This man in my dreams loved me for myself and he matched my enthusiasm for life! Call it what you will, maybe wishful thinking or whatever, but this feeling of wonder is not dissipating. Is it stupid that I am filled with a sense of something really meaningful coming my way?
Can this be my soul whispering.. there is someone.. and he is out there looking for you! If not, I will have wasted a whole lot of money that I plan to spend, on pedicures, manicures and hairstyling and.. and.. all the stuff I spend on the outer layers of my well worn life, to make me look… like my best self.. this is me!! “love me for myself and I will return it tenfold..” because I am a woman and that’s what we do…
It will be a ‘perfect symphony’ if this comes to pass… thank you Ed Sheerhan for that song (my favorite)..