There is married and then there is not married anymore .. sorta like on the other side of it. I have been on this other side for a few years now. I was asked recently if I could use only one word to describe life after married, what would that word be? Hmmm.. peaceful settles onto my tongue, like a comfort food long forgotten.
Settling into a new life doesn’t happen easily. Think about all the years it took to make you into an unhappy married person, it was a process. Reversing that process takes time and patience. Loving yourself should be your number one priority now. If you left.. well give yourself the respect your deserve, it wasn’t an easy decision to make or even follow through on!
For those that were dumped.. take heart, chances are there was no joy there anyway. Who wants a man that leaves his wife? If young children were still at home, then he was a self-gratifying dickhead, count your blessings! No man worth his salt leaves a wife with young kids still at home .. period!
First off, find yourself a lover, it helps with the self image part.. trust me. We are still desirable but something happened in the relationship that made us think otherwise. THAT was mistake number one.. giving ourselves to an undeserving man (or person).. geez too bad we didn’t know that going in.
I think the best relationships, and please my thoughts only.. I am still single, thank god! holy shit that just burst forth onto the page…hmmmm. I was going to say that the best relationships have respect.. not only for ourselves but others as well. Ok where was I.. the other side of married, it has advantages and disadvantages too.
Having a man around is desirable sometimes (self explanatory) or for fixing stuff. Most of the time though it is so delightful not having one around. First off get yourself that lover.. that will clear up any issues about your desirability. Check out the dating sites or personals or even Craig’s List, just try to stay out of your own backyard.
Sometimes having a warm body to snuggle is nice.. kissing is awesome (unless he’s a tightlipped no kisser, it happens). Sex will be a journey, but so is life and we don’t give up on living do we? The most important part here is that another person will find us desirable and want to bed us.. I say go for it!
Down the road you can weed em out and decide if they are bed-worthy or not. The important part here is to get back into the sack..er.. game.. and they changed the rules while we were gone (forty years for me). If you are my kids and you are reading this, stop here! ooops maybe too late, ah well.
I don’t mean to come off as a one night stand, but it does happen and don’t sweat it. We are finding our way, and that includes physical pleasure as well as … hmmm.. ummmm compatibility? Ok so that is a crock, I want the physical pleasure. If we don’t have it in bed then we just don’t have it.. period! (my thoughts only)
A little side note here in case you are thinking I am a little slutty.. (you could be right : ) insert happy face here! Anyway I digress once more.. geez. My personal pleasure includes the all important ‘intimacy’ factor .. sex is just that, but making love is what we should all strive for. I am not a wham bam thank you ma’am, bed hopping kinda gal.
The other side of marriage or a relationship includes loneliness too. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone to go to a movie with or supper or snuggle on the couch. A man to fix stuff and carry heavy shit and take out the trash. I will trade sexual favors for this.. “who do I have to sleep with to get this roof fixed?”
I am kidding of course.. or am I? Get a dog or heaven forbid.. a cat! Hire someone to fix that roof, ask the cute single guy down the street to fix your golf cart. Life is full of opportunities and joy.. allow your joy shine through, it’s contagious. Please, never settle for anything less in your life ever again.
“I would rather be single and alone than married and lonely.”