Love.. lust, sex , like, hate, share, respect, give, take, honor, trust, or just add lonely and lost to this mix and wow.. that is a lot of emotions to deal with. Life is a minefield of these emotions and being in love can exacerbate all these feelings and more. ?
I want to explore all these feelings, but who in their right mind wants to tackle these kind of roller-coaster emotions? Thank goodness we don’t experience them all at once, or maybe some do?
Marriage can make short thrift of some of those feelings.. like sex and lust.. ok just kidding.. not really though. If you are feeling lonely and lost in a marriage and not sleeping together either .. well then.. what kind of special hell is that?
I am the last person that should be writing about this stuff but that never stopped me before.. lol. This is my take on some of what I have learned.
First and foremost is respect.. I am trying my best to instill into my granddaughters head these words “never let a man dis-respect you!”
It works the other way as well, show respect and courtesy to your partner. I really think it is the little things that matter, whoever said “don’t sweat the small stuff” is maybe missing the point. Paying attention to the small stuff will stop it from becoming something bigger, don’t you think?
Sometimes when you love with such intensity, you can also hate with the same.. and why is that I wonder? Some stay together to spite each other and don’t we all know couples like that, it is almost like.. “you are not going to get the best of me.. dammit!”
Can you love someone but not like them? I think you can but down the road it will eventually turn into hateful thoughts and if you don’t really like them, why do we expend the effort for crumbs off a cake containing empty calories.
While we are on the subject of cake.. how about having your cake and eating it too? What is more exquisite than sharing cake with someone you love? That is.. if they reciprocate .. if they are reluctant or unwilling to eat your cake but want you to over indulge on theirs .. then I think it is time to change bakeries.. just sayin.
Give and take.. ah.. that is a tough one. We have the givers and we have the takers, if it is mutual, then no problem . What happens when all you do is give and give and give but the other person only takes and doesn’t think to give anything back?
The taker is the most selfish of all I think, I wonder how they got that way? Are they the spoiled ones in a family or were they just not taught that “it is better to give than to receive?” Chances are they are not happy either, as much as they expect and accept everything.. it is never enough for them.
A lot of us have also experienced the other extreme which is not feeling anything at all… a kind of numbness that protects us from all the hurt and anger built up over time.
Living a life ‘on hold’ is sometimes necessary, it is not really living but just existing day to day. Maybe we are storing our energy for the inevitable ‘straw that will break the camels back’? That is when that energy will explode and help us through the carnage that follows.
In any relationship the give and take is bound to go up and down. Maybe that is where respect comes in, and caring. I love to give, and it is just part of me, I want to hug and love and I am very verbal and spontaneous.
I think showing affection or sharing your feelings, does not make you weak .. it only brings you closer. I also think it helps make you stronger and healthier. We need affection and love in our lives.. that’s why we have grandchildren isn’t it? Oh.. and don’t forget the dogs or pets of various kinds .. not fish though.
I made sure my grandkids knew right from the get go that I was going to hug them and kiss them even in front of their friends! I hoped they would never turn away from me and be embarrassed by me. Today they greet me always with a big hug no matter who is around and I am so proud of them.
Why is it some are so stingy with love and hugs and compliments .. what purpose is served to begrudge someone you live with a nice compliment that might just make their day?
This Sunday morning has me thinking about all these things. I have love in my life, I can’t imagine my life with-out it. This was not always the case and I am aware of how lucky I am. I love my family and I hope I convey that to them always, they are important to me.
We need to love and be loved ..everyone needs that .. don’t be afraid to hug someone even if it feels uncomfortable, show someone you care.. better to have an awkward moment than miss out on joyful ones.
Love makes life’s owies bearable.. don’t be stingy.. just sayin