Lillian… I’m going to miss you so much

the view from my lake home

Dear Lillian

We just had lunch at Panera, was it only one short week and a half ago. We had the best time, got caught up on everything, and shared so many laughs. Yesterday on the Sunrise site, I found out you had passed, omg… Lillian, I’m so sorry, and I think I’m kinda in shock. I heard you were taken to Phoenix, and you were not happy about this turn of events.

In my mind, I was wondering how the heck I could visit you, but most of all, I’m now kicking myself I didn’t call you. Why do we think we have all the time in the world when obviously we don’t?  You were the one person in this park I would trust with my life. Well, that is figuratively speaking, but you know what I mean.

This park is not conducive to some of us card players, a pastime which we both enjoyed a lot. I really liked playing with you; others not so much. Truth be told, they were not very accommodating of me either. We shared that at our ‘last lunch’, along with a few other grievances you and I secretly shared.

I hope you didn’t suffer too much, damn! We even discussed our own deaths and how we wanted to go. You were open, honest, and full of positivity. We also shared a couple of very personal observations on living our best life and our near-death experiences. I know you’re in God’s hands, and I’m so glad you came to terms with this.  Btw, thank you so much for sharing this with me.

I’m going to miss you so. Even though we hardly spent much time together, we always picked up right where we left off. You are such an amazing woman, wow! I know you’re gone, but I’m still in shock. Lillian, you’re a ‘one of a kind’ woman, and I doubt many perceived this. You were funny, you were smart, and very perceptive.

I’d like to share a couple of insights here that you and I totally agreed on. Lillian, if you’re looking down on me right now (and I think you are), you’re gonna like this a lot. Others not so much, but I’m going to tell it like it is. Not everyone liked us playing cards; some even tried to avoid playing with us. But we pick numbers now, so there’s that.

We (you and I) also discussed how we were treated while playing cards. The eye rolls and the furtive glances of the other players at each other, and even the tapping on the table to hurry us up. We were not blind to any of this. You also shared that you called one of them out on this; the tapping on the table was making it hard for you to concentrate. This was a deliberate jab at that person, btw, we both laughed so hard at this

For all of you reading this, she also deliberately took her time sometimes… to irritate you even more. You’re welcome, Lillian. I know you are smiling right now, as am I. We loved playing cards for the camaraderie and getting out and about. I’m an expressive kinda person, and if I throw down my cards once in a while, it’s definitely not a show of anger; it’s just my way.

Now and then I blurt out an unexpected expletive (like oh shit!), and I’m sorry/not sorry.  I try my best, but here’s my take on all this. We are at the clubhouse to enjoy a game of cards. It’s not rocket science, and we are not playing for money (well, a few games are). We are here to enjoy our time out and catch up on what’s happening and visit with each other… hmmmmm

I’m not even going to get into the rules … btw, most people playing cards know that you have not discarded a card until it leaves your hand. It’s just a fact, Google it!

I didn’t get to share with you that I decided enough was enough and took my name off for the duration of my stay here. I know you would have approved. It was like a load was lifted from my soul, sorry but I’m a writer, so I tend to exaggerate. It’s sad, but it’s true. Lillian, you were the most honest person I know, and I’m going to miss you the most.

This park has many new people, but not very many participate in the activities and such… hmmmm, I wonder why? The new participants are very few, and this is something that needs addressing, but not from me or you anymore, Lillian.

I dared to put this all down because I’m leaving soon, and you have already left. I’m so sorry I didn’t come and have a last visit with you, but know that you are with me in spirit, Lilian … you were/are such a bright light in my life.

Thank you, and I know you are looking down on us and having the last laugh… I love you so.

Cherylle Winacott

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March 26 2026