Laffing all the way.. from the bowels of hell to my homeland

Leaving my second home behind was not easy, is it because of all my new friends or my aversion to packing up yet again? I love my second home, my friends, and even the heat! Yuma is full of surprises and continues to pique my interest.

Pack up I did, just emptied everything out of the fridge and freezer (no mean feat) and dumped it all on Richard the ‘Parkie’ handyman. Included in the stash were Judy and Sharon’s fridge remains, they left earlier. Richard probably thinks I must love my condiments, three of everything. How much ketchup, mustard and relish, and mayonnaise can one gal eat?

Everything is packed away in my shed and I managed to finesse one set of keys .. now let’s see if I can put them in a safe place so I can forget them next year. I didn’t leave a set at the office, the less I have to do with them the better… the manager is a hollering s.o.b. but I just ignore him. Karma will get him in the end.

My golf cart is handed over to Richard, he’ll keep it running, he calls it the ‘Green Hornet” while his friend Dave calls it the ‘Green Vomit’ it is an ancient Easy-Go with only three wheels, kinda cute (I painted it green to match my bicycle).

My only trepidation about this trip was getting through Vegas and the ‘tunnel from Hell.. exit 76b’. I had plenty of rest stopping in Laffing (Siri can’t say Laughlin) Nevada. I was not amused with my lack of luck on the machines.

That did not stop me from putting in another 20 dollars on my way out after breakfast .. which turned into a little windfall. I left my favorite casino, Laffing all the way to my overpacked car. Ready to take on Vegas, I fueled up with gas, coffee, water, and cranberry juice the latter three were free from the VIP lounge (ya I know.. I paid dearly for them…lol)

Vegas always puts me in turmoil driving through on the freeway. There is one exit that you have to be particularly observant of because it comes up almost simultaneously with another exit that will take you in an opposite direction you don’t want to go!!

I turn off all external annoyances (radio) and start to hype myself up or calm myself down ..whatever. Road signs and warnings do not deter me from my mission until I realize “oh my expletive .. expletive” the road signs are referring to MY EXIT!!

Shit.. now I really need to be aware, previously this exit takes you into a metal chute that curves like a waterslide and spits you into the middle of a five lanes freeway of Nascar drivers all wanting to beat you into the ground.

Well, guess what, the metal chute is gone, and in its place are three narrow lanes all divided by temporary two-foot-high cement abutments. To be fair, if you have made it that far with all the confusing construction signs, then you have already won the fifty-fifty chance of getting it half right so far.

I almost fell for exit 73 but made it back into traffic without sideswiping anyone. HAH! I spit on you exit 73 and exit 75 too! But oh oh what is this? Three freaking lanes to choose from omg.. now to be fair, at least we have a one in three chance of getting it right.. right?

Ok here we go omg, 76a .. noooooo veer left.. 76b yassssss! I made it and even shouted out a hoorah, that it still spit me out into the five lanes of Nascar drivers was anti-climatic. Where that third lane was going was not for me to find out.. thank you, Lord.

Only those of you that have driven that particularly nasty exit can understand my pain.. but the metal chute is gone and it must have been painful for others as well. The rest of my trip will be a piece of cake.. well that is if Sri doesn’t decide to take me on another adventure.

ps: a little side note here: I was going north now, home to Canada, that is why I missed the metal chute from hell.. it was on the southern route!