Bullies .. do you have a bully in your life? I do

We live amongst some that feel the need to raise their voices to belittle and demean others..  is it because they lack self control or self respect? We call them hollering ‘son#%$##%^# .. well I do. I should know because I was married to one for way too long. To be fair, I did my share of yelling back, until I gave up and called it quits.

My life since then has been pretty much calm and stress free. I strive to live in the present not the past. I set about taking back my life, and making it meaningful to me. Along with that life change came another decision, to never let another man yell at me again.

Imagine my surprise when my girlfriend and I apparently stayed too long in the hot tub, at my winter home here in Yuma, last year. The Parkie-manager started yelling at us from the gate, I do mean yelling and even hollering “this pool will never be open later, ever again..  I can promise you that or it will be over my dead body!!” 

The previous year we had asked our AMHO rep if we could have the pool stay open past 9:30 pm. They got them to agree to keep it open an extra half hour. So it was with great surprise that the manager started yelling at us as we were enjoying the hot tub on our return the following year.

He also yelled that it was because his generosity that we were even allowed to stay that extra half hour the year before “but that has all changed and this is how it’s going to be from now on!”  he bellowed. We were stunned at his outburst and the viciousness of his attack. It was almost like he had purposely laid in wait for us so he could vent his rage.

This is a manager hired by the park owner to run this place, the reality is .. we essentially pay his wages, someone should point that out. I wrote a letter of complaint to AMHO about his unacceptable behavior and they assured me the owner would get it, but nothing ever happened. I have since kept my distance from dealing with this parkie-bully. I use email as a preferred communication with them.

Why do we allow bullies to flourish, aren’t we being accomplices when we bear witness? Shouldn’t we speak up or do something when we see something? Don’t we allow them to gain purchase and get bolder by saying nothing? How does it make you feel when you witness this?

There were about twenty or twenty five of us playing cards last Wednesday evening in the clubhouse when this same Parkie-manager bully raged in and started yelling. This was approximately 8:00 pm and I had parked my golf cart in the managers parking spot. It just happened that the spot I was aiming for two down, was too small for me to get in, and I was late for cards.

I have parked in this spot before when the managers were away and the odd evening. My cart is a distinctly pastel green (I painted it myself ) and old, very old, a three-wheeler even. He came in a rage, yelling out loud about someone parked in his spot (he knew it was me).

I made a snap decision to hold my ground and said “that’s my cart .. do you have an emergency? He ranted about coming up to use the pool.. I said “well you are ok then” (meaning there was no emergency) and added “it is after hours anyway for the office..”

I confess I don’t remember everything he said.. you could hear a pin drop after that performance of his.. you could also cut the tension with a knife.

We deserve better for Park Managers, this is our only home for some and home away from home for others. Most are intimidated by him, unfortunately even more don’t care for their style of management at all. I am not the first person he has yelled at, there are many more and mostly women I’ve been told.

Our beautiful Park is an over 55 adults park .. an oasis with wide streets and well kept manufactured homes, trees and flowers. Unfortunately we have had no new homes move in even though we have lots of empty spaces. We even have new/old homes that have never sold until recently.

The Parkie-manager bully didn’t discourage me from buying here, I do confess my alarm bells rang when I met him (always trust your gut). I do wonder how many decided against this park because of him. Our quality of life here could be so much better with managers that actually worked with us instead of bullying us.

I told my girlfriend that if he yells at me again I’m going to run over him with my golf cart.. she laughed and pointed out that I only have three wheels .. ah well..