Bacon.. you are turning me into a man..

untitled (11)“I don’t really cook for myself” .. I said to my friend. “You really should, you deserve it” my friend replied.

The next morning with her words echoing in my ears I decided to cook myself a really nice breakfast. Bacon and eggs and.. what the heck, I’ll even do up some little baby reds and Yukon gold potatoes.

Five strips of bacon go into the pan, two for breakfast and two more for either tomorrow or a BLT sandwich later on. One slice is a spare I guess. Bacon is done, and I save some grease for the potatoes to lightly fry them up.images2LTQLASL

Spare slice of bacon is already in my tummy, before I even got the potatoes cooking.. Next strip follows the spare,  so I decide to butter a slice of soft bread and add two strips of bacon onto it and omg .. it melts in my mouth.

Those darn potatoes are taking forever and that one last piece of bacon left is looking kinda lonely. I pop it into my mouth and it goes to join the rest that are having a party in my stomach.. well on my thighs .. to be exact.

untitled (13)I decide that I’ll call the bacon the first course, and I turn the hot seasoned perfectly done potatoes onto a plate and fry up some more bacon. I taste a few of the delicious little pan fried jewels..  and why is it that everything just tastes better fried in bacon grease?

I ponder this question as I keep eating every one of those little tasty tubers, delicately seasoned with garlic and hy’s.. The heavenly fried  potatoes join the party happening on my thighs before the second batch of bacon is ready. I didn’t bother counting the second batch of strips because .. well .. what are numbers anyway.. right?images (29)

The thing is, I am thinking, as I pull out the second round of bacon from the pan.. I may as well fry it all up. I grab another slice of soft buttered bread and lay hot strips of drippy bacon onto it. This is pretty close to nirvana I think as it makes its final journey to you know where.

imagesEP9B5FFUI am now  eating it one strip at a time.. it is like I am possessed! I do think about how I should at least get the eggs out of the fridge.. na.. who wants eggs when the bacon is flowing? How do I justify eating half a pound of bacon I wonder?

Well it is this way .. yesterday the bacon was for a BLT and I did manage to slip some tomatoes into the bread. hmmm I didn’t bother with lettuce. I did toast the bread, that qualifies as cooking for myself right?images (30)

My girlfriends hubby is cooking for himself while she is away. I asked him ‘how he was doing’ and he replied he does cook most days .. bacon for breakfast and steak for dinner, nothing more nothing less!

I now understand..  I am turning into a man! ..  and I also know that I have steak in the freezer! I have a ‘no fry’ rule .. or I used to. Steaks are for a barbeque right? Frying them would be sacrilegious.. wouldn’t it? .. as I eye up the bacon grease and pull out the steak from the freezer.. hmmmm

untitled (12)Do I go out for fast food or do I stay home tonight and fry up that steak.. I wonder..  as I pull a beer from the fridge.. burp, then scratch myself..