Oh crap.. I was pulling out the element on the stove but forgot I had it on low, for the coffee perk that I just moved over to another burner (see coffee .. can you smell it blog post). Now I’m thinking what the heck… this scene is sooooo familiar to me. When I started out in catering I never carved beef. My girlfriend was rooked into it on one event (she never even hesitated) and I thought hmmm.. if she can do it why not me?
That was the start of my descent into self mutilation! So my daughter calls me today and asked me innocently enough..” watcha doing on Saturday mom”? (I am retired and living and blogging at the lake) “not much” I replied, “just hoping for a sunny day on the pontoon boat.”
I have so far managed to stay away from any catering jobs, even the big ones (7000 pp for lunch) comes to mind, well I was on a road trip and they did ask, but road trip couldn’t be cancelled. “Do you think if we picked you up at the lake on the way to a job at Chitik Lake, you could help”? Oh man.. she got me! “I suppose.. I guess so” I reluctantly replied. The relief in her voice told me told me she was desperate and on the last of her calls trying to find help for all the events this week-end.
Ah well.. it is not that much of a chore .. I guess, but I have already just burned my fingers on the stove.. dam! This has taken me back to when I first started carving beef in the catering business. Seems like every time we couldn’t find a carver I was up! AND it never failed that I would be doing prep and I would cut myself, but don’t think that got me out of carving .. oh no.. if it was still bleeding then that meant I still had a pulse and if you have a pulse .. you work.. period!
Well if you need stitches like my son did, cutting his hand pretty good.. putting up a tent at the Ex (where we did beef on a bun all week..) you get time off. Enough time for them to sew you up and fill you with painkillers. Then it is back to work.. with a glove.. of course! We do have to set the example.. after all, you know walk the walk…
I know it sounds brutal.. and you are right, it is sometimes, but it is necessary. We don’t get the luxury of “oh well.. we will finish this tomorrow because we are short staffed today” uh uh.. when you call in sick we send people to check if you still have a pulse! That wedding isn’t going to cater itself!
And that is why I have no friends.. whenever I call them up they are suddenly busy and can’t talk RIGHT NOW.. NOOOOO don’t hang up! I am retired now.. I sold the business to my kids , please talk to me……. !
Thank goodness for family.. they can run but they can’t hide. “What do you mean you have a wedding to go to…? and.. and.. who is catering it anyway ???” “oh you’ll really like this one.. we are doing a whole hog.. oh yes, lots of leftovers!” “What do mean you are on holidays.. this will be like a holiday.. it is on a golf course.. you like golf, right?”
Ok now where was I .. oh right.. burnt fingers.. hmmm I wonder if I am carving tonight? Or maybe it is a Pitchfork Steak Fondue and I need to pass out the steaks.. there is an art to that you know. We need someone personable to chat with the guests while doing this and hopefully that person KNOWS a well done from a medium rare! “You want one still kicking.. ? no problem go right over to the Pitchfork and they will help you!”
“Yes the pitchfork works all week in the barn” ha ha ha ha.. do you even know how sick I am of that joke?????
Ok.. now where was I… oh right.. I need to phone the kitchen and tell them to throw in a glove….