sorry/not sorry, Covid 19 again (my musings this week)

I was a little harsh yesterday to someone close to me. My response should have been softer and a little more gentle. The problem I have, is with the thoughtless comments thrown out carelessly! It is that careless attitude a lot of mostly younger adults have, with those of us that want to play it safe. I quote “if they want to stay safe then they should stay home” or “they shouldn’t go or be in places that put them at risk.”

I am that person that is trying to keep myself safe. I have only been to grocery stores ‘always with a mask’ and a couple Staples stores because I need a new computer. Crowds make me nervous, I definitely don’t shake hands and hugging is only reserved for my kids.. period! “I’m not going to quit living my life, because of this virus” is the most often heard comment I hear, given to those of us that are trying to keep safe. Here’s a news flash for those of you ‘living your life’ your way.. I need to stay away from you. I don’t need you to lecture me either, your attitude is not nice!

Lets be clear here, this is not a rant against you, it is only me trying to explain as best I can, how I feel. My world got a whole lot smaller than most, since this virus. I love to travel and having a second home in Arizona in the winter is such a joy to get away from the frigid cold. I am a sociable person and love meeting new people and making new friends, I’m not a recluse that’s for sure. Quarantine when I got back home to Canada was necessary and the ensuing isolation was not easy. I chose to accept it and live with it, I’m an optimist and I do what I have to do.

I pick my own battles or choose my own playing fields ‘if you will’, I weigh my risks and act accordingly. The rules here in Saskatchewan have been relaxed somewhat, and it has been a little easier. I am still cautious and I need to be. I know my risk factor and to be honest, I really think I would not fare well if I get this virus. After being holed up for so long I decided to move to the lake for the summer. May as well be outside, in the fresh air and rain for 12 days straight .. until I wanted to slit my writs, lol but I digress..

So being in my condo for two months and then moving to the lake was a nice change. I am still cautious, having coffee breaks while social distancing with my cousins and friends, helps A LOT. I have a lot of room here for that. When we got to hug our families again my life was complete.. my kids hugs are my lifeline. I still don’t have a man, but I don’t need one to complete me.. I do need my family though. That’s not to say I have quit looking for my soul mate, but rather I am enjoying not having to shave my legs.. I know.

Weighing my risks carefully when I venture out is part of my life now. I actually think this may be a part of everyone’s life going forward. I hope this isn’t the case, but damn, do you think this is going to just disappear with a vaccine? What if this is just a dress rehearsal for what our future is going to look like? So I go about my life evaluating my risks and what I am comfortable with. My feelings are that those of us like me, all have different levels of risks we are willing to accept. This is not to be confused with “oh.. so you are ok with that , but not ok with this?” Please give us the courtesy of our own judgment of our own risk taking.

When you plop down beside me, into a chair outside, that was just vacated by someone I deemed ok to sit beside..  is NOT ok. Spouting off remarks that you are not going to quit living your life, your way, doesn’t make it alright to jeopardize my wanting to keep a safe distance. Believe it or not, I want to live my life as well, I didn’t quit living and neither did others of us that are being careful. I’m a hugger too and I hate that I can’t hug my friends, or touch them. AND PLEASE quit saying I should stay home and isolated..

I am doing the best I can under the circumstances. I’m ALWAYS evaluating the risk factors when I go out or socializing. You may think because I’m here at a party in a huge yard, that I’m a hypocrite and should have stayed home if I want to keep safe. Well sweetie I am doing my dammedest to keep a balance in my life.. so get the f#%k out of that chair and take your attitude with you… ooops my outside voice, sorry/not sorry.

oh.. and there are exceptions to every rule, Tom and Miguel you know who you are…