where do I belong? (to Robert.. with love : )

I submitted my written piece about facial hair women seem to sprout as they age. This was a literary group of writers and they meet once a week in Toronto. Because of the covid virus they now hold meetings via zoom. My friend in Toronto suggested I may like this group, they are a good bunch of people. Submitting and critiquing each others writing pieces, they are a multicultural group or easterners, I would be the only westerner.

I was unsure of what to expect or what was expected of me, but encouraged to submit. Sending in something I had been toying with and was not my usual writing set me out of my comfort zone. I was very nervous reading for the group first time. The comments were good ones and I took it all in, including the one that said I was using grade school grammar and implying it was maybe to simple for this group. The wound was not mortal, although it did hurt I got over it, determined to rewrite the whole piece. I started rewriting and it sits still unfinished..

Meantime I put up my hand to submit another piece, one I was comfortable with, I knew which one it would be. I wrote a humour piece about getting older and how mother nature throws us all these curveballs. All women can relate to it, I wrote it 6 years ago. This.. ‘My-Third Life’ blog, is all about my experiences with getting older. I want others to read and maybe relate to how older women cope and feel, we all have to deal with our challenges, hopes and dreams even when we age.

These are not literary pieces, just plain writing. The struggles that come with aging and being single again and how I cope with what life throws my way. I don’t make stuff up, I don’t have to. We don’t wake up magically and we’re old.. a lot of life happens in between, it shapes us into the persons and characters that end up living in our bodies. Maybe writing gives me an outlet to explore and scrutinize all these changes and how I feel about them. I certainly didn’t know that this would become my passion. This makes me wonder what else I should try.. and no, it won’t be sky-diving!

My second piece was well received, the gal that read it was amazing, she brought it to life exactly how I wrote it. The guys had a few issues but most enjoyed it, I think. The feedback was all good. Most of my writing or a lot of it needs some humour to lighten it up. When I write about real life it can get downright depressing and I hate that. Yes, I am that person that likes happy endings and I hate violence and now scary movies as well. Is this an age thing I wonder?

Well everything was going good until the ‘grammar guy’ from my first piece asked to go last on the critiques, he had a lot of questions. He stabbed me in the heart and made me question my presence in this group. “It certainly was not literary and maybe doesn’t belong in this group.” He suggested maybe it was a comedy skit for a comedian, and again the grammar shit. Well that hurt, really hurt and I have tried to erase it but it keeps lingering, like a bad smell. This got me to thinking (probably lots of bad grammar there), what am I doing wrong?

I talk in exclamation marks!!! use shortcuts like omg and ok, exaggerating stuff, but NEVER making it up! Its who I am as a writer, she ain’t pretty.. she’s my mother (so that just slipped out) sorry/not sorry. I’m not pretty, but I’m not ugly either. I’m not young, but .. well I’m really not young! I’m not a gifted writer or a literary genius, but believe or not, I’m pretty smart. In the business world I have done very well and I even have a couple of inventions under my belt as an entrepreneur.

I actually have hundreds of pieces written so far, as well as the start of a book. Some of these pieces will never see the light of day, others have already been published (if you count letters to the editor). Most of my writing is on my blog and I do have regular followers that seem to enjoy what I have to say. You see, I am talking to my readers (and myself) when I write and I write the way I talk.. does that make sense to you? Well it doesn’t to the literary gent and I hope he lives happily ever after. BUT.. how can he, if all he reads is literarily perfect books? We need humour and we need comfort and we need positivety, this is just me trying to find where I fit in.

My life is full of everything I can cram into it, I seek adventure and thrive on excitement. I’m not perfect and my ex will attest to that.. in fact everything bad that happened to him was my fault.. or so he imagined, lol. So I go forth with great trepidation and .. actually that’s an outright lie! I live my life for myself now. My heart is full of love and not anger :  ) If I can make you laugh or make you feel like you’re not alone, if you can relate to me in anyway.. I have done my job.

Thank you for reading this :  )

ps.. I guess this is my Sunday morning rant.. one day early. I am a Saskatchewan gal, tough as nails and I’m already over it.