Some one wrote on my Facebook page .. “do you ever slow down?” Omg.. really? I am going so slow, in this my third life, that sometimes I think I am wasting time. Well actually I do waste some time everyday, I prefer to think of it as refueling my energy levels. It requires me to meditate horizontally.. otherwise known as ‘nap-time’.
Slowing down involves letting go.. yep its that simple, but it’s also that hard too. It means we have to let go of stuff that we used to do, as well as the worrying about afterwards. When I re-tired, the kids were actually doing all those big catering jobs without me. Little did they know I was there in my mind, worrying my heart out, wondering if all went well?
The hardest part was shutting off my brain, not asking what events were coming up, and DON’T look at the jobsheets pinned up. See .. it is like this, what you don’t know you don’t have to worry about. Life goes on I know, but hanging onto that thread of worry connected me somehow. It doesn’t make sense.. but it must’ve at the time.
How many of you do this in your life in different ways? You know a loved one is coming to visit, say.. on icy roads! You worry till they get here.. but if you didn’t know they were coming, it would be a delightful surprise. The weight of worry didn’t take away the shine of their visit.
Life is kinda like that.. sure I retired but I still worked those events in my head as they came up. It was an emotional sigh of relief when they were done.. “piece of cake mom” my son would say! Then I started to forget which events were looming until they were over .. and voilà, they pulled them off without my mental leadership.. I know you ‘got it’.
So it came about slowly.. it took maybe a year to fully let it go, in my head… funny huh? I think I use that technique now.. to let go of stuff that stresses me out. If I can’t do something to make a difference in an outcome.. well what’s the point of worrying about it in my head?
Maybe by getting rid of the illusions and sometimes exhausting crap that is clogging up our brains, we can clear the way for the joy, waiting in the wings. Maybe it is the joy of eating some ‘great wings’ at the local watering hole and watching a game of football with your friends.. not my kinda joy but who’s to say its not yours?
That nap I have most days I’m un-apologetic about.. “I can’t talk now” or “call me later ok, it is nap time.” If you have a significant other it can be even more than a nap, a little extra joy never hurt anyone. That ‘kinda joy’ actually makes everything right with the world again.. or it used to (I forget its been so long).
Speaking of that kind of joy.. if you do have a significant other, I hope you are doing your part to make everything right with the world again.. lord knows we sure need it right now. Just because it is there all the time does not mean you can ignore it. Make an effort.. remember when you couldn’t get enough of it? Well now you have time, well some of us do, but really, I think it is worth the effort.
We should make some effort everyday (to do something maybe out of our comfort zone.. you’re still thinking sex right? sex time is over, lol) well ok.. maybe not everyday. If you have a DOWN day, own it and savor it. DO NOT beat yourself up mentally about what you should be doing, but rather enjoy doing.. absolutely nothing. (or that other thang..lol)
Ok get ready for this wise saying.. “life is like a doughnut.. eat it and savor it and enjoy the piss outta it” didn’t Tom Hanks say that in a movie somewhere .. ah well. (bad grammar and analogy, sorry/notsorry) but please.. if you are going to worry about it, obsess over it and then feel guilty after “then don’t eat the dam doughnut!” you took all the joy out of it anyway.. (also for the rest of us if we have to bear witness).
Doing nothing and giving our brains a rest once in awhile.. is perfectly ok.. unless we’re dead. If that is the case I hope we lived, really lived.. while we were here, because what a waste otherwise.
Its like that song “slow down you move to fast” by Simon and Garfunkel. We need to slow down and make room for the fun and the joy and also the delicious doughnuts in our lives.. savor them.. and savor the do-nothing times as well, pick up a book, have a nap or make love.. I know which one I would pick..