resolutions for the New Year, kill me now

For my new year’s resolution this year I have decided to let myself go.. that’s right, I am allowing myself the freedom to be me. That organized person that knows where everything is.. was never me anyway, ever! The clean house and the washing all done and my life in order, who am I kidding? It’s not like everyone doesn’t know me…

I eat and sleep too much, talk and laugh too much and although I am not a sloth.. look it up, I’m a close relative for sure. I’m not lazy, it’s just that I don’t care enough about the top visible layer of my life. Well maybe I am somewhat lazy but I honestly can overlook my messiness (some can’t and I can see you twitching.. lol). I envy those of you that have it all together and know where everything is.

Those that have their shit together, work at it. Shit doesn’t just organize itself ya know, there is a lot of thought and labor that goes into an organized person’s life. Those spice’s don’t align themselves up in alphabetical order while you are sleeping.. uh uh. AND those people don’t even go to sleep until that’s done, I am exaggerating, or am I?

Let’s just face the facts and accept the obvious and quit beating ourselves up. “I’m never gonna be that person” the one that has all the labels on the cans facing the right way, and I have decided I’m ok with that.  Now that statement looks innocuous enough, but read it again.. put some feeling into it and take a deep breath, and swoosh, LET IT GO…

Then there is this, sometimes, I secretly think “I need to get a life.” Well here is another revelation for me, I already have a life.. well most of the time if I can find it. Here’s another thing, maybe I don’t need to find it, maybe looking for it is the most exciting part. Oh look a butterfly..  some of you will get this I know, we are soul sisters lol.

Life happens every single day, a miracle we get to experience every single one of us. We all like an orderly home or at least have it look that way on the surface. Hire someone or just don’t invite people over or throw everything into a closet or cupboard. Better yet, clean it if you feel like it or don’t, it doesn’t matter.

The one takeaway I want to stress here is this, and I’m writing this with bated breath. IT’S OK, LET IT GO.  I can live with chaos, it’s a  part of me. I’m ok with throwing my clothes that need washing in a corner and hanging the rest on a chair or on the bed. The dishes in the sink don’t bother me. My bed will always be unmade, inviting me to get back into it.

My paper trail will eventually produce that bill I am looking for. I don’t throw anything away so I’ll eventually find that deed to my place down south. When the paper piles up too high, I just gather it all and put it in a box, and shove it away somewhere. I can tell if I’m getting close to something I’m looking for by looking at the dates and years on the papers.

Yes, I am that person that has every size of clothes in my closet. I don’t throw anything away, are you crazy?  I may lose weight and fit into them again.  Aha.. another revelation just hit me, I can give those clothes away. YESSSSS I’m never going to fit into them again. I can buy more clothes now for the ME of today, lord knows I love to shop.

The do-dads and knick-knacks are all here somewhere, business cards from 30 years’ worth of friends and business acquaintances, yes!  My cape, scissors, thinning shears, and razor (from my hairstyling days in my first life) are in a plastic container on top of my printer.  The printer on my desk isn’t working, my desk holds everything I need, within reaching distance. This includes my hair stuff and my makeup, my tweezers, and my 100 X mirror.. lol.

My life is complete, what more could I ask for? A man hmmm, he would just move his shit in here and then I would have a dilemma, where to put his stuff, I can’t put my own crap away for crying out loud. Then I would have to cook and maybe clear up some space for him? I dunno, I have a pretty good life, accepting someone else’s shit in my space may be a stretch..

The exception of course is Tom Selleck and that is a given, he is on my bucket list ‘sleep with Tom Selleck’ before I die. If that happens, kill me now because I will already be in heaven :  )

And happy New Year to all of my friends and family and to those of you that read my blogs, thank you :  )

Oh, look a butterfly.

copyright December 28th, 2019

#mythirdlifeblog  #lmbl