A friend of mine (male) asked me if I was getting as fed up, as he was, with all these women coming forward and accusing men of sexual misconduct? He was saying “enough already.. aren’t we ready to move on?” He is one of the good guys and I value his opinion on most subjects.. but on this one he is dead wrong! Here is my answer to him..
ok you asked.. so I am going to put my two-bits worth in. You were being open and direct and honest with me so I will do the same. I wouldn’t be too loud with your feelings on this around others just yet.. it is still too raw and recent for most women.
You are a male and I’m sorry that you may be getting tired of it all but.. it is something that we (females) have been experiencing our whole lives. What has it been .. a month, two months? We live with this everyday.. and even some men are coming forward!
I feel your frustration and understand where you are coming from.. but that’s the point! Move on you say.. uh uh.. we are not moving on anytime soon. When every man (and I totally expect even Clinton will eventually get nailed.. I don’t think Trump will get a free pass either) finally realizes there will be consequences to even think about sexually groping or harassing or god forbid raping another human being. THEN we can move on.
You can’t undo a lifetime or a culture or a way of thinking in a few short months. We are in this for the long haul. Now in case you are thinking we may be responsible somewhat by the way we dress or act. I want to say this.. although I shake my head on how some of us dress, I owned my share of mini skirts back in the day, when I had the body to flaunt it.
Lets put this into perspective though.. when you are showing off those abs and those tight fitting jeans outlining your ‘junk’ are you concerned about getting groped or sexually harassed or god forbid.. raped? What is different is .. YOU ARE SAFE .. you have always been SAFE! You have NO IDEA about the groping and unwanted advances.. the fear and humiliation or even the intimidation a lot of us experience today, yesterday and even tomorrow!
How many women in some middle east countries, that show hardly any skin, are being raped and sexually harassed on a daily basis I wonder? In fact exposing so much as a little bit of their legs or arms in some countries makes it ok to sexually defile them. My God.. I can’t imagine the fear they must live with.
Some of us have been sexually molested since we were young .. it is a ‘forbidden’ secret not to be discussed, living with threats to keep our mouths shut! How many men do you think can relate to this or even understand how it feels? Nothing should be trivialized.. we deserve to be safe in our own bodies.. period!
Writing letters of sincere apology to those you have wronged, is a start and I am heartened by that. We as moms need to be more vigilant when raising our sons (as do dads).. to teach them respect for every human being. There needs to be consequences to reverse the tide of jaded acceptance of sexual harassment in our lives.
There are many men out there that are respectful of women, and that gives me hope. There are also some that ‘don’t get it’ .. at how widespread this sexual misogyny is. They assume as do you, that this is blown out of proportion. I assure you it is not, and most women know this as a fact.
All men, and that includes you.. that value and respect women need to have patience right now. We need to be heard and it is a painful process. I could be way off base on this but I don’t think so. We are finally .. maybe.. hopefully.. going to address this very important issue. We need you to stand up and be counted and to be there for us and with us.
Thank goodness we live in a democracy.. we can make changes and make it right.