This is Jennas post I copied from her Facebook page. She lives in the small town of Carlyle, Saskatchewan, Canada not far from the city I live in. This story is worth reading and Jenna is a mom with a mission and in her closing statement you just know she is going to make a difference!!!!! We need more moms like Jenna !
On September 25th, my 10 year old son, hung himself. I walked in on him…I interrupted him. Had I not walked in when I did, this story would have a much differ…ent ending. I would be burying my son, it would’ve been the heaviest 70 lbs I would ever lift.
He has been bullied at school since we moved to Carlyle, 3 years ago. The first year I went to the school, talked with the Principal and the Vice Principal to no avail. I gave my son permission to defend himself from the kid that was sitting on his chest while they were on the playground and choking him. My boy was going to get an out of school suspension for dropping the kid who is twice his size, while the kid who was choking my boy, got an in school suspension. I got Breck into counselling in the area, to help him deal with a new town, a new home, a new school, and that he was being bullied. Breck was still being bullied by the older kids in the school, so I started going to the parents because the school wouldn’t help me. The last time my boy had mentioned anyone bullying him was November 20, 2012….almost 2 years ago! I kept asking how the boys were at school and he kept telling me they were better…they weren’t. They were getting meaner because I was going to the parents now. In this time, my boy was also bullied by a teacher in the school, the reading resource teacher. He was told in front of his peer group that he wasn’t a strong or confident reader, that good readers read like she does, among other insults. She planted a stupid seed when Breck was in her grade 2 class and watered it…my boy was reading at a grade 2 level, going into grade 4, he was stunted by this dinosaur who can read well. I went to the Principal about this teacher, again nothing was done. So I dealt with her myself. My son also became a bully. His grades were consistently not good and I was having to deal with the school 2-3 times a month for Breck being aggressive on the playground with kids, not staying on task in class, being disruptive etc. I know what my boy is capable of and I was working with the school, something the school wouldn’t do for me the previous years Breck was enrolled there. At this point I got myself into counseling, thinking it was something within our walls that was affecting my son and making him lash out.
Upon entering my boys room and seeing his neck all red with abrasions and seeing the noose in his closet, I asked him if he tried to hang himself? He said he did. I asked him why he stopped? He said because I was coming. I asked him if I wouldn’t have noticed and had left, what would he have done? He said he would’ve went back into the closet and finished. I asked him where he got the rope from? The garage, he pulled it in a week prior, he sat for a week on that rope and didn’t say a word. I asked him where he got the idea from? He responded “Robin Williams hung himself”. The knot was a slip knot, and it held my weight!! He wasn’t messing around. I took my boy to the Weyburn General Hospital, we were seen in the middle of the night by the on call physician, Dr. Joy Igbinova. She was yawning, it was late. She asked Breck what happened he said that he tried to kill himself. She asked how, he told her he hung himself. She asked (in a condescending tone) “with what? A shoe lace?” At which point I pulled out the rope. She spent 2 minutes with my boy and told me he wasn’t depressed. I didn’t get a chance to say anything at all. She then said “you do realize that Social Services is going to come now.” Right in front of my boy, who literally shut down and was scared that they would take him from me, he needed help and just wanted to go home from this point on. I told him that they could try! But I would fight for him! The on call physician called a psychologist and we were admitted. I was his suicide watch, in a room with so many cords and my boy who tried to hang himself. 9 am on the 26th the psychologist came to see Breck. He told the psychologist what he wanted to hear “I won’t do that again, I don’t want to die, life isn’t that bad” he was still scared they would take him from me. The psychologist said he thought Breck was alright and would pass this along to the doctor who admitted us. The on call physician did not come to see us. I had legitimate concerns, there needed to be an action plan, numbers I could call if I needed them! Nothing. She gave the nurses instructions to give us our discharge papers when Breck was ready to go…my 10 year old who had just tried to kill himself and was now deathly afraid Social Services was going to take him from me, was in charge of when he went home. We came home Friday the 26th in the afternoon. Mark and I cleaned out his room of anything that he could harm himself with. Breck showered. We were going to relax as much as possible. I moved a mattress into our room, I was scared to have him sleep in his room alone. The night went on. Breck started crying, I asked him what was wrong? He said he was sad about what he did. I told him that was good, that means he wants to live …he started sobbing! I hugged him and asked him why he was crying harder. He told me he was sad that he didn’t die. My heart broke again for the second time in as many days. Despite Dr. Joy Igbinova’s declaration that my son wasn’t depressed, he was! And it was waaay bigger than me! Lucky for me and for my son, I have great friends that are able to be my voice of reason and tell me things that I might not want to hear! I was in crisis and I couldn’t think properly. I hadn’t slept in 72 hours because I was scared I would miss something and wake up and find my child dead. We went to Saskatoon. Breck received the care and the help he needed. I have reported the doctor in Weyburn. I have gone to the school board and guess who is the Super Intendant?!?! The Principal who wouldn’t help me for the last 2 years! She wouldn’t help me then! So I went above her head and got her boss down here to Carlyle! I have been in touch with the RCMP. I have got the ball rolling. I called some other parents who’s kids I know are being bullied, so they can come forward and help their kids. 4 different sets of parents have declined! Their reasons when asked were (and I quote) “I still have to work here”, “we can’t because of my husbands job”. Adults are scared of other adults…adults bullying adults!! And we wonder why our kids are bullied/bullies. It rests with me. I will advocate for every child in Carlyle who is being bullied! Not just for my son but for everyone’s kids. I have blown the school out of the water in terms of the teachers that bully the students, that they are quick to jump down Brecks throat because I’m not the “lil Johnny would never” parent. They are perfectly clear that I’m not going away. The school board is implementing a “Respect Ed” program at the Highschool. They have made it a mandatory course for the Elementary School, despite the fact that it’s for Grades 7 and up. The RCMP are going to ALL the schools in the area and doing presentations. I am not done here. You will know when I’m done, the smoke will clear and Carlyle will be left picking up it’s pieces of it’s facade it calls life. I don’t give a rats ass what anyone thinks of me, least of all the fakes down here, I have nothing to lose…but my son! And that isn’t fucking happening! I almost missed it, NEVER AGAIN! I’m just the bitch for the job! Talk to your kids! Help them! They need you!