his fingers were in my mustard.. I loved it!

What was her name again… hmmmm

My social life is not all it could be and I need to expand my network of friends. Going away in the winter and spending summers at the lake is only expanding my waistband, which doesn’t need it. I’m meeting a lot of people at this casual drop in pool party. I’m enjoying some of Aunty Alomedias (I know that is not her name, but I can’t remember it) sangria (which I over indulged) and munchies ( I put a serious dent in the cheddar flavored popcorn).

This house is amazing and my hosts are so generous. I am glad they have included me in their circle of friends for this casual pool party. I have catered many events in my life and you can spot the truly genuine, giving people. Having catered a special event for them, no doubt garnered me the invite for the pool party, or maybe they really like me (I hope so). I certainly enjoy them and esp. the dark handsome one (well they both look good enough to eat) .. lol.

I don’t want to use names but my story has a funny twist on names so I have to use a couple real names.

First off I am not good at names and when I was introduced to the first two people right off the bat, Rhonda says think of Honda.. Rhonda, or Rhoda.. Toyota..! Dory was something else and I already forget what , then she said, or.. hunky Dory! (well turns out I remembered that). It also turns out Dory knows my cousin and I must remember to mention that when I see my cousin again.

I am sitting outside talking to another person I met and along comes Toyota.. shit.. ! I cannot rhyme anything with that dam name, then Honda pops into my head and I breath a sigh of relief.. ahhhh Rhonda. She is a ‘live wire,’ an executive and an over achiever and a lot like I used to be. She does not suffer fools lightly and who does? But we sometimes ‘come off’ sounding really bossy (which we are).. but don’t want to be a bitch (which we are)..  I totally get where she is coming from. I like her right off the bat.

Another one has her own hair styling salon and we have met before. I mention my blog to her and she may be interested in reading the one I wrote on Hair.. ‘www.my-thirdlife.com/razor cuts, back combing, car sex and grandma’. We laugh and I tell her a bit about my background having owned four salons myself.df6b51d8bff2af32e6f060fbf4102e35[1]

The couple next to me asks what I blog about and I  told them pretty much everything is up for grabs. I give them an example, like my ‘www.my-thirdlife.com/funerals.. and egg salad sandwiches’ and he literally gets all excited and says that is the reason they go to funerals.. for the egg salad sandwiches! I get excited and tell them more about that story. Is this some sort of ‘cult thing’ I wonder? I make a commitment to him that if he dies before me (he is obviously 30 years younger than I) I will do egg salad on my homemade buns for his funeral. (sangria is cutting in here)images[3]

Speaking of age there was another couple, their names rhymed, and she asked me if I was the hosts mother? I almost choked on my munchies.. (ok so I also put a dent in the potato chips as well). Well I guess if I gave birth at age twelve I could be said hosts mother.. geeze! She had me rethinking lazar therapy and Botox.. dam.. I thought I was looking pretty good!

So our discussion goes from swear words (my computer won’t allow me to swear but allows the ‘f’word’.. go figure) and they told me how I could fix it, and descends into sex. I am really liking this group (and the sangria is tasting better all the time).

Rhonda pipes up about fixing me up with her dad.. but he is ten years older than me. She says he is personable and loves to travel and is financially secure. I say there are other things that are still important to me and he may be too old. She assures me that he bragged to her about having it three times one night and I say yes but is he good for five? (oops I need a refill of sangria)

From there it goes to age and our host just had a birthday. Here the woman that thought I was his mother, pipes up and whispers, “do you think he could be older than thirties?” Omg.. I don’t hate her anymore and thoughts of Botox are now gone! Host, of course, is in his early fifties, but looks younger.

Ok.. so I have met a lot of interesting people here, but it is time to go. I would like to know some of them better, starting with Honda Rhonda and hunky Dory! I grab a pulled pork sandwich for the ride home and the tall dark handsome host puts the mustard on for me! I swoon and want to lick his fingers.. omg was that my outside voice or the sangria.. shit! He gives me a big hug…mmmmm…

I proceed to thank our other host, the one that I was asked if I was his mother … geeze!  I share with him my story of being a ‘twitter virgin’ ( he was my first.. follower). I will always remember that.. and then he gives me a big hug and kisses me on the lips and.. (hmmm now I am in love with both of them..) dam that sangria!




7 thoughts on “his fingers were in my mustard.. I loved it!

  1. your piece on the pool party was great .. describes how we all feel struggling to remember names and being social with strangers.. and the effect that a moderate amount of alcohol can have.. maybe that’s the thing about all your stuff .. we can see ourselves in your writing and because someone else has written it down and voiced those feelings .. we feel less alone.. I don’t know.. maybe too intellectual and too analytic.. but maybe that’s why I like your writing.. your brave enough to say what others are thinking

    1. Thank you blue eyes! I love your feedback, you have nailed down what I strive to do. Sharing my life and what I feel maybe validates me??

  2. Although you did a bang up job on the catering, you’re just a cool chick and happy to get to know you better!
    Not the mustard one

  3. I have never really followed a blog, nor sent a tweet. But this blog is so fun, so well written (and yes, allowances for grammar as it IS a blog for goodness sake). I enjoyed reading this! thanks for the laughs.

  4. Have always loved your sense of humour, (got to know it at the Flying App) and especially like reading your blog now. Can definitely relate to the name game.

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