Why do some of us waste so much time judging people on how they live their lives? I was taken aback recently by a comment someone close to me said, about a dear friend of mine from years past. The comment “I’ve been thinking about them a lot”.. and then this.. “they musta lived a Fucked-up life.”
My dear friend had a tragic event happen in their life. Shit happens to all of us.. some more than others and I surely don’t understand why. This comment was out of the blue and caught me off-guard, and to be honest I was stunned. Saying they must have lived a F###ked up life, because of the tragedy that had befallen them, is totally ludicrous to me.
Some say you need to look at who is making the comments.. and this may be true. People who live in glass houses, is a saying that comes to mind. This remark must have really bothered me though, because here I am weeks later writing about it. I need to understand the WHY of it.
Two things come to mind from that thoughtless, and I think, hateful comment. The person commenting didn’t much like my dear friend (which is true) and by running my friend down, maybe it made them feel like they were a much better person (which is untrue). But what really bothered me .. why are you even spending time thinking about this family!!
So after I addressed the said comment in my best sarcastic voice “I’m sure __ chose to die, by getting hit by a car” I let it go. But I didn’t really let it go, that comment was soooo not nice, I need to understand why.. why say something like that? “thinking about them a lot” really? You never even liked them!
I have spent this part of my life (my third life) flushing stuff I can’t control and basically striving to live a ‘better’ life. Being non-judgmental is maybe the hardest part, and I’m not gonna lie.. I do my share. Judging that fat chick drinking that milkshake.. does she really need it? Oh crap, sometimes I just need to have that milkshake, dam it!
We make stupid small judgments all the time, about others and ourselves.. and we are better than that, AND I continuously strive to be better than that! Most of us, do I think. We are not perfect I know, but we need to start standing up to hurtful remarks thinly veiled.. and disguised bull shit!
Maybe bad mouthing others allows you to breath.. shallow breaths..
Do we throw stones because we covet what they have? When bad stuff happens to good people the haters think ahhh I’m not so ‘fucked-up’ after-all, look what happened to them? Maybe we look to others to gauge our own happiness and come up wanting?
I think this is a no-win situation. It doesn’t matter how much stuff, money or whatever you have, when you covet other peoples lives.. you are not living your own! Dissing or denigrating others doesn’t define them as much as what it says about you.
We all have to deal with what life throws at us, its called fate. Its how we live our lives that counts, we need to be grateful for what we have. If we don’t have the best of everything then surely making the best of what we have, is what we do and I am grateful, always..
My humble advice is to flush the haters (I will be flushing that hateful remark) and give them no purchase in our head. Haters will always hate and they will never be happy..
Ok that’s it and I’m done, the fat chick is taking me out for a milkshake… Ya I know, don’t care.. she is such a sweetheart..