fwb .. Friends with benefits

Most of you know I write about everything, this is no exception. I freaking hate winter, scraping snow and ice off my car is one of my least favorite things. I go through a lot of windshield cleaner because eventually it melts that dam ice, but then I have to wait for the windshield defroster to do its job so I can see to drive.

The plug-in on the front of my car was still in hibernation when it turned minus 20 and I figured its time to plug my car in. I shouldn’t even be here in this crappy cold weather but I am, and I need wheels. I know there is a plug because I found the extension cord in my trunk so I musta plugged it in last year.

Stuff like this is inconsequential in the scheme of things, I figure. I have more important stuff to worry about. Well looky here, this has become the important stuff! If I had a man around, he would have this covered and I could be blissfully un-aware of all this mundane day to day boring crap.

I had to go to a service station and ask the gas jockey if he could find my plug. It was already minus 20 and freaking cold. The Co-op service station attendants are the best, they have helped me on several occasions! That windshield cleaner fluid doesn’t fill itself ya know.

So here I am, the attendant found the plug and dug it out from the bowels of my engine. There was a little clip that went somewhere to hold the plug once back in so it wouldn’t drag down the highway. Plugged in, at home, all is well. Next morning I pulled the plug out and the clip came with it.. where is that man with my benefits?

I shove the plug back into the grill and pocket the clip. This is all bullcrap, plugging in vehicles in minus weather is not for the feint of heart, or me. So later on, here I am driving at night and can hardly see, on go my brights. Driving to a Xmas party at Prairieland Park with my brother .. I know, we were each others dates last year too, sad but true : (

A fwb would be good for a lot of things, replacing a headlight is not my forte’. Someone to take out the trash, foot rubs and taking out more trash and more foot rubs and hmmm. Making my coffee in the morning, sweet, if he could cook that would be a bonus. Buying me flowers for no reason would be too much to ask for, but I’d ask anyway.. loll.

In return I could give him advice on how to live his life, how to dress and how to act. I could tell him when to go home and when to keep quiet and even help him with his driving. Advice on what he should and shouldn’t eat .. oh and advice on alcohol consumption. I can harp with the best of em… just sayin..

He could have the perfect life without a wife.. and no marriage certificate, how cool is that? A win-win situation dontcha think?

The end

Just a little note here from a woman that knows nothing about this stuff. Why can’t the car manufacturers put the plug on a mount in front of the car? Have it reel out to the post when needed, and then reel back in when not needed. You eliminate extension cords, clips and dead plugs that were dragged on the highway.

But that would be too simple right? A man invented that system I know it.. and everything to do with cars. Also a spot on the console or in the dash to hold our purses… wake up all you males, half the population is women with purses of some sort! Geez..

Ok that’s it I’m done..