These feelings I have for people I love doesn’t diminish.. even with age. My body, on the other hand, is constantly changing and not in a good way. Coloring the grey is getting to be a pain, and some old gal is showing up in all my mirrors wearing my clothes! When did that happen and how the hell did she get into my house?
How is it we look different but don’t feel different from our younger selves? Well maybe the urgency of trivial matters, that once seemed all-important, has mellowed somewhat. My feelings of love and friendship and justice have only intensified, does being single have anything to do with this?
Ok.. so I have a milestone birthday coming up, geez how did that happen? Just yesterday I was in my twenties and thirties and building my business and raising my kids. Then forty happened while I wasn’t looking and changes came unexpected into my life. My feelings of inadequacy and hope and renewal were all dealt with, was that when my body started to age?
I try to ignore that woman in the mirror, when did she show up anyway? Did life do that to her or does my mirror just need cleaning. Maybe she should get a facelift or Botox or something. Better her than me, I don’t trust Botox and surgery scares the hell out of me.
Turning fifty was traumatic and my tears were genuine and from my heart! My god.. I was getting old and time was running out and I hadn’t made my mark on the world yet. The journey into the new career was a rocky one and really hard. These feelings in my fifties were definitely not in tune with my soul.
A midlife crisis perhaps.. I painted my whole house vibrant colours. Was this to mask my feelings of deep uncertainty and my fate being a forgone conclusion? My body definitely aged in my fifties and I accepted mediocrity into my life.
Feelings .. don’t age, they may lay dormant for awhile or maybe they just need a break to rest up for the really intense moments that shape our lives? My body may have aged but my feelings were about to take on a whole new life!
Turning sixty ahhhhh… Sixty years old! My kids threw me a big party and I felt ALIVE at last! Thank god for feelings because without them we would have no hope.. we need to FEEL to be alive. When sixty rolled around my body may have aged but my feelings became attuned to my soul.
We all age.. but why do some age better than others? Diet and exercise play a big role I’m sure.. that gal in the mirror better start doing that!
Seventy is just around the corner and I have been rolling it around on my tongue and spitting it out once in awhile. I have embraced it somewhat, I know my body may be getting older but I also know that I am not!
If you are only as old as you feel then I am not old at all.. that gal in the mirror isn’t that bad looking either .. seventy might just look stunning on her!
Bring it on..!