Cuban ‘crack’ it’s not what you think

WARNING.. what you are about to read may offend your sensitive eyes and make them bleed.. please stop now or use caution and read slowly…

I am home from Cuba 10 hours now. Eating a bowl of frosted flakes and a jalapeno/cheese toasted bagel (dripping with butter) while watching the evening news, eases me back into the real world. A good nights sleep in my bed.. well here’s the thing, I sleep good anywhere. I also take naps, when needed.

All the great minds and writers in this world have been known to take naps. Naps rejuvenate the creative processors that spark our pistons to go full steam ahead when needed. I have no idea what I just said, but it flowed outta me.. so I wrote it down. I’m sure the nap thing is true too and really who is actually going to check, right?

So.. onto the meat of this story. (sorry .. but you will ‘get it’ shortly) First thing I need, on my first morning back from Cuba, is a SHOWER. Lordy lordy, how I love this experience. I wait patiently for the hot water to flow into my taps… this takes a minute maybe. That I was ever cranky and whined that it took so long .. may I rot in hell for those thoughts and remarks!

The hot water comes and I adjust the temperature flowing from my ‘rainforest’ shower head (invented by a woman I’m sure) to the exact right temperature.. stepping into this warm envelope of bliss transports me to my happy place. I have not experienced this feeling in a whole week. Being a born again virgin.. I need this fix! Some things are sacred.. just sayin..

The following is an excerpt from my first post from Cuba.. in case you didn’t read it.

Our first morning we used the hot water tap only..  a pathetic stream of lukewarm water fought its way out, it was acceptable.

Second morning no water.. fast forward to scalding hot with no cold water in the afternoon. I had a swim in the ocean and really needed to get the salt off, but not at any price (second degree burns). The bathroom soon became a sauna with me cursing and trying to figure out how I was going to get the salt off my body and out of my hair.

Being the resourceful gal I am.. I used a face cloth to wipe myself down and a brief respite in the scalding, had me shampooing my hair. This was a big mistake and I almost burned my scalp rinsing.. oh man.. that was close. My scalp would have matched my face, which I burned in the sun on my first day here.

My tirade 0f not so nice words about said shower, to my gf when I got out, must have fell on deaf ears. I laid down for a nap and awake to her calling the front desk because we have no water. I tell her I turned off all the taps, she tries that and gets water. Before I could stop her, she calls the front desk back to say everything is fine.

Fast forward..  and she is cursing and saying bad things in the steaming sauna bathroom. “How the heck am I supposed to get soap out of the crack of my ass?” she is yelling that to me! “why are you even taking a shower when you listened to me complain about the boiling hot water?”.. is my reply!

Soap in the crack is not a good thing.. “use a facecloth” I yell back. Back on the phone to front desk. We are fast becoming familiar with the maintenance man, he has been to our room a few times now.. he is getting better looking each time.


Fast forward to my heavenly shower just now. I will never complain about my shower or my running drinkable water ever again. All the ‘cracks’ are clean, as are all the nooks and crannies. I have unlimited internet and lots more stories but my kids are waiting for me this morning so I am gone…