I wasn’t going to discuss dating on my blog .. well that’s a lie. I have already posted several pieces on this subject and my quest for the perfect man. Some things I miss about being in a relationship and that ‘after glow’ effect, rates right up there. That of course refers to kissing.. uh huh..
Dating sites serve a purpose I suppose. They are a valuable tool in that they let you view a myriad of men all in one place. They also send you ‘matches’ everyday but I quit smoking years ago and preferred a lighter anyway.
These men are supposedly my soul mates, based on my profile input and the questions I answered. Some come with names like ‘sixtynine’ ‘hardasarock’, ‘coolhandluke’.. really? It is just as well you don’t have a picture, it probably wouldn’t ‘match’ your name anyway.
Clicking ‘No’ on these matches only guarantees they will show up again at a later date, when you are not so picky.. oops my outside voice. Specifying an age preference only rules out the teenagers.. although one nineteen year old did send me a like.. hmmm
Yes folks we have likes on a dating site.. clicking on ‘yes’ sends a generic flirt to “hardasarock’ saying ‘hey you caught my eye’ .. kill me now! One had no profile, no picture and well.. nothing.. but did write “I’m just checking out this site before I decide if I want to pay”. I think THEY should pay you to stay off it.
Most pictures look like these guys have been in prison or are getting a mug shot for a drivers license. For gods sakes would it kill you to smile.. could this be why you are still single? I will always check out a guy with a nice smile.. not to be confused with a lecherous leer.
My first go round onto these sights was such a learning curve. The sight was ‘Plenty of Fish’ and I certainly opened a can of worms there! Being newly single I was caught off guard by all the married men on there casting their ‘rods’ so to speak.
Ok ladies here is a heads up.. if you want to know if your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you, go onto these sites with a made up profile and check them out.
This cesspool yielded up so many losers.. including one that not only cheated on his wife but his three girlfriends as well.. I am serious. I didn’t see that one coming.. oops.. but lesson learned. Some of those fish are really rats and I can smell em now!
Some send pics of their fishing ‘rods’ which makes me wonder if the gals are sending pictures of their ‘bait’? It gives a whole new meaning to “does this picture make me look fat?” One bald guy obviously overlooked the fact that he already had a ‘match’ .. I’ll let you figure that one out.
Why do young guys want to experience the ‘after-glow’ with us older gals I wonder? What could possibly be the fascination? Some were tempting but I just can’t bring myself to spoil them for other women .. it just wouldn’t be fair.
Then there are those that don’t even post a picture, like ‘funinthesack’. Who remembers that joke about putting a sack over their head? There are enough threatening pics on here, I don’t even want to imagine what you look like.
Please.. DO NOT say you like holding hands and taking long walks in the evening, down by the water. Where did you pick that up anyway? That is such a cliché.. if you actually liked doing that, I think you would still be married.. case closed!
Picking a site for ‘older’ singles got me into the geriatric bracket. A girlfriend of mine said these older guys are all looking for a nurse or a purse and she may be right. I don’t want to supply you with Viagra or nitro pills for that matter. I just want to make your heart beat faster.. not kill you!
Winding this up I just want to say to a recent one that wondered if my mouth could accommodate him? Little do you know what my mouth can do.. and your loss! I’m also ‘handy’ .. my hands get me into as much trouble as my mouth because I love to write … you figure it out…