The radio announcer was in denial, even he couldn’t believe it and he was freaking young! If Betty White is really dead then that does not bode well for me. As long as she was alive so was I. Being in my seventies is bearable because, well, there’s Betty at ninety-nine and counting, and now what? Shit happens all the time but Betty always took it in stride with that irresistible big smile of hers.
Betty had a sex life, you just knew it, and so do I, we may be old but we aren’t dead yet Dammit! Well one of us is dead and now what? How much longer for me I wonder? This is not good and we certainly weren’t expecting it. Wasn’t she just joking on some show about her age and her longevity with that big ever-present smile?
It’s the first day of 2022 and I feel cheated somehow going into the fourth quarter of my life. Betty White died on my watch and now I’m in mourning. How did this happen just like that? I have been seeing her everywhere or was it my imagination, how can you just die Betty? Yes, I’m talking to you and I feel like you owe us some answers. Were you sick or did something unforeseen happen to take you so quickly? Were you bedding Tom Selleck and the lord took you to heaven because that is how I envision my end? I would be ok with that because Tom is on a lot of us old gals’ bucket lists. “Sleep with Tom Selleck before I die,” God he makes me weak with desire every Friday night when I watch Blue Bloods.
This just sucks and although we’re not immortal I felt while you were alive, we were in a sense immortal. In my head, I’ve never aged because you were out there kicking old in the face and laughing at it. What now Betty? Did you see a light, and did it lead you to a kick-ass party somewhere? I hope there is fun, love, and sex where you are and if there is, will you send me a sign? Don’t come and get me just yet though because I’m not ready. That tall Italian guy that has been hanging around me hasn’t been properly bedded yet. The foreplay has been promising and I’m excited to see what’s next. I may not want to leave after that, but I live my life each day so if my time is up, so be it.
I think, Betty, you lived your life each day as well. I see it in people’s faces, how they walk, their smiles, and sometimes that aura of contentment that floats around them. My son once remarked to me over twelve years ago, “mom, why do you look so mad” I was dumbfounded by his remark. I had no idea I looked mad “all the time,” maybe it was the sadness permeating my soul, I was living in a very unhappy marriage. I started practicing smiling in front of a mirror after that and it felt weird as hell, but I pasted that smile onto my face anyway. After an inevitable divorce that smile came naturally and in fact, you couldn’t wipe it off. Going forward I’ve carried it through into every part of my life, even now twelve years later. Betty always had a smile on her face, I gravitate to smiley face people, I just do.
Betty, you were my beacon and not afraid to speak out on anything, love and sex were joyful to you, as was life. God, I am going to miss you and I guess we are not immortal after all. Damn! Fact is, we are only old in the numbers attached to our birthdates, we certainly aren’t old in our heads. I try to fill my life with joy as best I can and if I hit a rough spot, then I set out to change it. It is never too late to reset our lives, take a chance, follow our heart or even start a new adventure. If we don’t open ourselves up to the possibilities around us how can we know which road to take? Our tomorrows are surely fewer now and I don’t want to miss anything. I enjoyed the best of love and sex in my sixties, and now I’m into my seventies and still looking. If that Italian guy ends up in my bed, ah well, I’ll take one for the team. It’ll be his lucky day as well and a fitting ending if I have to go.
Rest in peace Betty White, you were our hero you showed the world we are not getting older, just kick-ass better, and we will live for you.
January 1st 2022