beaching it in Curacao

image1Today we decide to ‘beach’ it on our own in Curacao, we flag down a nine passenger P.O.S. van (piece of shit). We share it with a really cute gal from Holland, she is visiting her girlfriend that works here.

Out journey proceeds to take us on a long arduous route on backroads that are little more than trails. The driver is on his cell phone the whole way. My friend and I exchange worried looks and I am making ‘short-cut jokes’ but no one is laughing.

untitled (60)I am seriously thinking this could be a big mistake, picking up the good looking blonde girl to share the ride.. that is. No one wants a couple of old gals.. but this cute girl is definitely kidnap material. My imagination runs wild .. geez.. why do we keep putting ourselves in these situations?

The beach was only supposed to be a few miles down the road, here we are in no mans land, in a decrepit van with no writing on it. We have been traveling for half an hour already.

We finally arrive at a beautiful secluded ‘topless beach’ .. this is optional. Girlfriend and I toss a coin.. we keep out tops on, I mentally picture everyone thanking us for that.image1

We only pay the driver a portion of agreed upon price, we need him to come back for us, because there are no other options for transport out of here! He accepts and agrees to return in time to get us back to the ship. We DO NOT  recommend doing this .. ever!

We proceed to cover the big four S’s 1)swimming 2)snorkeling 3)sun tanning 4)snoozing .. we eventually wander over to the snack shack to wait on our guy to pick us up. The gal there rolls her eyes at us when we say we are waiting for our ride back. It’s a ‘like that is really gonna happen ‘ look! hmmmm

image1We get a little antsy and it starts to pour buckets of rain. Our driver finally shows up and we breath a sigh of relief. This could have gone bad .. really fast. We take a civilized paved road back to the ship.. and it begs the question why we came that other way?

Curacao is probably the gem of all the Caribbean islands with its white sandy beaches and blue sparkly waters. Forty miles long and 10 miles wide, the weather is always a balmy 80 degrees (but nana .. I don’t know what that means says my granddaughter .. lol). So for most of the world that is 27 Celsius.

Tourism, oil and offshore banking.. are the main industries here. Is offshore banking really an industry I wonder.. I will never know because I will never have enough money to stash offshore .. all my money goes to keeping the economy thriving.untitled (66)

Arriving with little time to spare at our ship.. we are the last to board, the captain announces a delayed departure of three hours! Geez.. we decide to give the captain our cell phone numbers so he can call us next time there is a delay and we don’t have to panic making our way back.

Dessert tonight is a baked apple puff pastry with whipped cream .. we had decided early on to stick with the sugar free desserts and my GF does. She is vying for saint dome.. but I am going straight to hell, I hope they have whipped cream there!

Tomorrow we have a hypnotist on board and I have decided to go for it. I am going to lose weight, sleep better, look 10 years younger and live happily ever after.. and if he makes good on all that.. well then “waiter, I’ll have another one of those apple whipped cream thingys”..