Accepting myself

Accepting ourselves, warts and all might be one of the hardest parts of living our truth or being the person we want to be.  I personally like who I am, but this wasn’t always so and I came to a realization that I’m not perfect.. I know, right? I’m older and wiser for sure and we mellow with old age like a fine wine or in my case a cheap one. I did drink Baby Duck back in the day. It’s not easy living on the information highway with all the stuff we have to know, do and accept. We are constantly barraged with ways to improve our lives, ourselves, and how to grow into a better human beings, yada yada yada…

The ads (here in the States) on TV for memory loss, diabetes, dementia, and every conceivable thing that could be bothering us are unending.  Well, the good news is there is a pharmaceutical for all these ailments real or perceived! AND an added incentive for every one of these ads is that you may lose weight! Well, sign me up baby… lol.

Accepting ourselves the way we are should be a given and I wish it for all of us but why is this so hard?  I live alone and it should be easier for me because I don’t have a partner constantly pointing out my flaws. Alas I can point out my own to myself, excuse me while I partake in another piece of that lemon pudding pound cake, omg to die for : )

Reaching a plateau in my third and older life has me accepting myself for whom I’ve become. I’m also a little proud of the stuff I’ve accomplished throughout this journey. How often do we give ourselves credit for the myriad of obstacles we have overcome and why is that I wonder?  Sometimes it was getting out of bed in the morning to face yet another day of challenges, but as women and moms and entrepreneurs and, and, and.. we did it every single day. I am proudest of my kids and I can’t even imagine my life without them.

Starting my third life being single again on my own terms was life-changing for me. Trust me when I say that doing this in your sixties is not easy.  I was starting my life all over again as an old person yet!  Turns out I’m liking the person I’ve become, and discovering a passion I didn’t even know I had was most exciting. So here I am indulging this passion, writing my blog, it brings me peace and sometimes revelations about life. I encourage everyone to write, even if it is just for yourself, it feels so good to ‘get it out’.

Having come to terms with myself in my third life I am mildly surprised by a new beginning taking shape. I didn’t know it, nor would I ever have put my finger on it, but here in Yuma I have come across such a thing. Someone new has entered my life and it is not a dog or a cat, which everyone seems to have here.

My hesitation to write about this was overcome by my awe of this exquisite new feeling exploding into my comfort zone and turning everything upside down.  Late is better than never I guess and I do live in the present. This person totally adores me, for me!  I know.. and no he is not blind or needy.

Why should this be hard for me to accept I wonder, maybe because I didn’t think I was missing anything.  How is this even possible at my age? I was married, been there done that, man friends .. same. A couple of relationships sure, one of which captured my heart but didn’t work out and I survived.  I’ve lived, learned, and experienced so many of life’s lessons from all the good the bad, and even the ugly, that life threw my way.

Living in the present is what I do and I also accept death as a fact of life (from a near-death experience) and it doesn’t scare me.

BUT..  now it seems I want to live forever or at least take better care of myself, lol… funny eh?


April 16th 2023