resolutions for a New Year (written 5 years ago)
For my New Year’s resolution this year, I have decided to let myself go, that’s right, I am allowing myself the freedom to be me. That organized person who knows where everything is was never me anyway, ever! The clean house and washing done, and my life in order, who am I kidding? It’s not like everyone doesn’t know me.
I eat and sleep too much, talk and laugh too much, and although I am not a sloth, look it up, I’m a close relative for sure. I’m not lazy; it’s just that I don’t care enough about the top visible layer of my life. Well, maybe I am somewhat lazy, but I honestly can overlook my messiness (some can’t and I can see you twitching.. lol). I envy those of you who have it all together and know where everything is.
Those who have their shit together work at it. Shit doesn’t just organize itself, ya know, there is a lot of thought and labor that goes into an organized person’s life. Those spices don’t align themselves in alphabetical order while you are sleeping… uh uh. AND those people don’t even go to sleep until that’s done, I am exaggerating, or am I?
Let’s just face the facts, accept the obvious, and quit beating ourselves up. “I’m never gonna be that person,” the one that has all the labels on the cans facing the right way, and I have decided I’m ok with that. Now that statement looks innocuous enough but read it again. Put some feeling into it, take a deep breath, and swoosh, LET IT GO…
Then there is this: sometimes, I secretly think “I need to get a life.” Well, here is another revelation for me, I already have a life, well, most of the time if I can find it. Here’s another thing, maybe I don’t need to find it, looking for it could be the most exciting part. Oh, look at a butterfly… some of you will get this, I know, we are soul sisters lol.
Life happens every single day, a miracle we get to experience every single one of us. We all like an orderly home, or at least have it look that way on the surface. Hire someone, or just don’t invite people over, or throw everything into a closet or cupboard. Better yet, clean it if you feel like it, or don’t, it doesn’t matter.
The one takeaway I want to stress here is this, and I’m writing this with bated breath. IT’S OK, LET IT GO. I can live with chaos; it’s a part of me. I’m ok with throwing my clothes that need washing in a corner and hanging the rest on a chair or on the bed. The dishes in the sink don’t bother me. My bed will always be unmade, inviting me to get back into it.
My paper trail will eventually produce that bill I am looking for. I don’t throw anything away, so I’ll eventually find that deed to my place down south. When the paper piles up too high, I just gather it all, put it in a box, and shove it away somewhere. I can tell if I’m getting close to something I’m looking for by looking at the dates and years on the papers.
Yes, I am that person who has every size of clothes in my closet. I don’t throw anything away. Are you crazy? I may lose weight and fit into them again. Aha. Another revelation just hit me: I can give those clothes away. YESSSSS, I’m never going to fit into them again. I can buy more clothes now for the ME of today. Lord knows I love to shop.
The do-dads and knick-knacks are all here somewhere, along with business cards from 30 years’ worth of friends and business acquaintances. Yes! My cape, scissors, thinning shears, and razor (from my hairstyling days in my first life) are in a plastic container on top of my printer. Although the printer on my desk isn’t working, my desk holds everything I need to within reach. This includes my hair stuff, makeup, tweezers, and my 100X mirror.
My life is complete. What more could I ask for? A man, hmmm… he would just move his shit in here, and then a dilemma, where to put his stuff, I can’t put my own crap away for crying out loud. Cooking and maybe having to clear up space for him. I dunno, I have a pretty good life, and accepting someone else’s shit in my space may be a stretch…
The exception, of course, is Tom Selleck, and that is a given; he is on my bucket list, ‘sleep with Tom Selleck’ before I die. If that happens, kill me now because I will already be in heaven : )
And happy New Year to all of my friends and family, and to those of you who read my blogs, thank you : )
Oh, look at a butterfly…
copyright December 28th, 2019
#mythirdlifeblog #lmbl