“Is there anything you need that I can bring you when we come back up?” asks my son. I think for just a second and shake my head, “no, I don’t think so.”
When he is long gone and I’m in bed that night I start thinking about his question. I literally take inventory of my life and think hmmm.. is there anything I am needing in my life? I am always making jokes about needing a man or bedding Tom Selleck or well, I think you get my drift. I get lonely sometimes but not enough to commit to a full-time partner, been there done that. It could be different with a soul mate but then again, maybe not.
Is there anything I need, that I don’t have now in my life? When I sit down to write I don’t know what is going to show up, that is what I enjoy most about writing. When I was laying in bed last night thinking about it, what would I want? I’m at the lake, my favorite place in the whole world. Everything I need is right here, this is my comfort zone and I have all the necessities. It has been raining steadily all week and I feel like I’m living in BC, I could use some sun dammit! This is the prairies, where the heck is our sunshine? Out here in my office on the deck, lakeside in June, and I am freezing my fingers, it is only 8 Celsius and I want to put mitts on.
Parts of my family show up now and again on weekends mostly. My daughter and her crew are up for a week, going home today. A niece I haven’t seen in ages is here with her brood and my sister from another mister is due today. She’s been canning dandelion jelly and I am hoping she brings me some, I’ve never tasted it. My son and his little family left yesterday, as did a grandson I haven’t seen in a while, he only came up for one night. Most of my neighbors are family, we bought into this piece of paradise years ago. We set up trailers and built cabins and shacks and whatever constitutes a roof over your head, I guess. Now appearing around the lake are actual year-round homes, several with two and three levels, there goes the neighborhood, and now we have building codes .. Jesus!
What else could I possibly want or need? I would love to be published someday but truth be told I am going to keep writing even if no one reads this because I do and that’s important to me : ) plus hugs from the grandkids. When I write, my thoughts come together and I’m sharing insights into what I know so far, according to me, lol. Blurting stuff out in public is my usual M.O. I just don’t take the time to taste my words. Later on, mulling something over, invariably I’ll wish that I would have chewed on them a little longer and let them gestate, but I didn’t. I apologize if I have hurt anyone’s feelings.. it is never my intention to do so. Writing gives me the luxury of time to put my words in an orderly fashion.
Patience is a virtue I have little of, that and money, ok so I just threw that last one in. I would like to have a little more cash. Even rich people hunger for more, and more and more, ok so enough already. Money is not what I really need, it is what it can buy. Actually, all the money in the world will not keep you from death. You can’t take money with you either, ask Steve Jobs (Apple founder, deceased at 56 yrs) well I guess that ship has sailed. Dying is inevitable, and that’s why we need to live each day. This brings me to what I really want, and no it is not death. Memories.. that’s what I need, maybe that’s another reason why I love to write?
Remembering the really great times and even just the ordinary times, pieced in with the not-so-good. These memories are also caught on paper pictures, super eight films, and VHS tapes, and now smartphones everywhere. But mostly I need to make more memories with my kids and grandkids. Throw in the nieces and nephews and all the cousins and friends near and far.
What I need is for you to bring me up m0re supplies son… I need to cook my special spaghetti sauce for everyone. Carlie wants some of that dessert I make with the cream cheese and who doesn’t want my homemade buns and beef stew. Lord knows it is cold enough outside and we are in need of comfort food. Bring out the scrabble game and the crib board, not all memories have to be good, as she dreams up yet another word no one has ever heard of…. yep gotta love it!