We are never too old to Live!
Why is it some people are old and others never age? Some may say I’m old but I sure don’t feel old, sometimes my body begs to differ though. A dear friend passed away this week and I am still somewhat in shock. He wasn’t sick and it came on suddenly. A week ago today he called his own ambulance and now he’s gone. I loved him and I love his wife dearly, they are and were my first friends here in my winter home in Az.
Age has never figured into my circle of friends, it’s just a number, and most times I couldn’t even tell you what that number is. I just got back from a one-week jaunt to Utah where a girlfriend and I are collaborating on a cookbook. She and I became fast friends at a catering conference we attended many years ago. Her best friend befriended me the year before at the same conference and now we are all friends. They are like family to me and I feel at home whenever I visit. They are maybe half my age but making new friends that end up feeling like a part of my extended family never gets old.. pun intended lol.
We are all going to die eventually but it’s still a shock sometimes and why is that? I want to go fast when it’s my time and please Lord no lingering or suffering. I had something happen to me many years ago, I was in a situation where I believed I was going to die. A car accident made me face my own mortality and I accepted it. Funny thing though, I didn’t die and was not even badly injured (my new minivan, however, was totaled). There was a lot of bruising and I required physiotherapy on my shoulder, mentally it screwed me up for a year but eventually, that also passed.
This brings me back to this age thing. My dear friend was almost ninety years old but that’s just a number. He lived and breathed and was active and creative and always curious about everything, we had many talks, he and I. My cajoling at a function a girlfriend and I sponsored down south, got him to stand up in front of a crowd and share about his amazing life and his new hobby, painting with acrylics. That man could do anything. He even climbed through my laundry room window once when I accidentally locked myself out. That was four years ago and he was 86 years old, it never even occurred to me he shouldn’t be doing that.
There are others in this park and in my life that defy the age thing, then there are those that look and feel ‘old’. This really is a personal choice I think, you are only as old as you feel and yes that does say it all. Turns out in the end, my dear friend was at peace with dying and that’s how I want to feel when it is my turn. Striving to live my life with purpose is my goal or maybe I should say choosing how I want to feel each day is something I consciously do. Some days are wasted and that’s ok, we all need to cut ourselves some slack. When this happens I wait for it to pass and I move on.
I think by living my life this way and my time comes around, I can honestly say “I lived” and that is my goal. I want my kids to know this and not mourn my loss but rather celebrate my life. I want them to say “well mom/nana or my friend, always voiced her opinions and she sure knew what she wanted and boy did she have a mouth on her!” I don’t want to prepare for my death while I am living.
My five-year-old granddaughter and I shared custody of a cat I got her for her birthday last year. She named the kitten Star-Glo. Her dad wouldn’t let her keep it in the house, it was winter so guess who housed the cat? I happened to ask her one day what she was going to be when she grew up and she surprised me by saying “I’m going to be a mommy.” Pressing her further asking her why she wanted to be a mommy her answer was priceless. She turned to me, looked me in the eye, and said “because when you die Nana I will be Star-Glos mommy.”
Some may find that gruesome but I was ecstatic.. that is exactly how I want her to feel. I’m living my life today sweetie, and when I’m gone I want you to remember all the fun times we had. I have no idea how long I’m going to live nor do I dwell on it. Age is not a thing to me, living my life is. Connecting with others is my excitement, living today is what I love the most I think. We are never too old to live… just do it.
RIP my friend.. you lived your life your way and what a tribute that is for all of us.
copyright April 28th, 2022