Sucks to get old .. don’t do it!

Being young in my mind is never a problem for me. Outside of my head is the problem, it shows the wear and tear of my body, in the not so fast lane, anymore. Self preservation forbids me from going to the gym.. you can seriously hurt yourself there! I prefer working out in my condo pool, it never judges me, never weighs me down and always buoys my spirit.

Running is just not an option either, walking is ok.. as far as the car, further than that requires a decision. Is where I need to go worth it, hmmm but there better be ice cream at the end! When did all this happen I wonder? I used to walk all over the city at one point in my life. I think that was the year I quit smoking.

Exercise is not a bad thing, and everyone else should do it. We need to keep active or we lose it! What do we lose I’m pondering as I decide against walking to the store? Lose the motivation maybe, well I’m still going to the store. Thing is, why do I have to walk when I have a perfectly decent car in my driveway?

A news article about runners getting knee or ankle injuries from the wear and tear on their muscles and joints re-enforces my smugness. No tendonitis for me or new knees or hips or any of those body parts that wear out! My body may not be perfect but it is all mine.. no artificial parts for me.

Then came the pain from hell in the middle of the night, it was so intense it woke me from a deep sleep and wouldn’t let up! My big toe throbbed with pain so intense I could hardly walk. Wtf was this about.. I had no clue, but I was about to find out.

My doctor looked me in the eye and told me it was probably Gout!!!! WHAT the hell, that is for old people.. old men to be exact, right? Well not really, it is caused by a lot of acid build-up in our bodies. This was not good, but the good news was that he prescribed me magic pills that cleared it up in two days!

What’s wrong with your foot asked a friend, “well I sorta tripped on something, walking to the store” was my reply, with a perfectly straight face. Gout is not a sexy nor a relatable condition like say, a broken toe or a sprained ankle from a misstep while on my morning jog, hah! Ask anyone about Gout, it is an old mans disease.. too much fat and red meat in your diet. An isolated incident I’m sure.. and this too shall pass.

Pass it did, thank goodness, but damn I had a whole bottle of pills left yet. Calling my doctor, he advised to keep the rest of the pills on hand for future use. I shrugged and put them away somewhere, I surely wouldn’t be needing those again. Well.. famous last words, as I am frantically searching for those damn pills once again 6 months later!

I would like to say that this is all behind me, but here I am on my fourth go-round with this dam gout thing.. geez! Lest I get too complacent, there is another hurty-owee lurking in my recent past that is comparable to gout, but lasts way longer. It’s called sciatica and it will make you wish for a round of gout any day…

Getting old sucks.. don’t do it!