pathetic offerings …shhhh don’t tell anyone I am a caterer

untitled (19)How hard can it be .. we can do anything for just seven days .. right? It is day three on my all veggie, no bread, sugar, diet drinks or red meat, eating plan. I could have citrus fruits, chicken and fish but there but I have none of this in my house.. 99 cent store did have turkey wieners though.. does that count?

All my intentions were good and I spent 45.00 U.S. dollars at the 99 cent store .. I have lots of pennies to spare these days (Canada got rid of pennies). We don’t have one dollar bills either, just loonies and toonies (one and two dollars in metal coins).. really hard on our Canadian strippers… ok I digress, sorry.

So the windfall on veggies was stunning .. 99 cent cauliflower, yes it is true! Asparagus for 99 cents and eggplant and Mexican squash and all these exotic veggies I never use. My plans are admirable, make a vegetable my main course every day, while making everything look inviting enough to eat..

cauliflower
the biggest cauliflower I have ever seen.. I wanted to pick it and smuggle it into Canada

My thoughts turned to smuggling veggies into Canada, but only for a moment, cauliflower alone could make me rich. But I’ll settle for posting pics on facebook and revel in the glory that I can afford these veggies and sunshine everyday and .. and, I am slowly running out of money..

See.. I have  enough money for at least another week here and our dollar should return to normal by then.. right? Well if not then I need to send my kids a postcard “really enjoying the sunshine, it is great for my wellbeing.. I love you and miss you all so much.. please send money!”

hateful soup
‘hateful soup’

So this eating plan is a seven day challenge and surely anything is doable for seven days .. right? Cleaning and chopping and storing all the vegetables for easy access is its own special kind of pain, but necessary. I even made a big pot of the ‘hateful soup’ which turned out really delicious.. but I know I will hate it by day seven and never want to eat it again.

Breakfast day one and two, turn into wonderful ‘feast for my eyes’ offerings. They are so delicious I just know that there are probably hundreds of hidden calories in there somewhere. That’s ok though, you need to have a good breakfast , right?

my version breakfast pizza
my version breakfast pizza

99 cent store didn’t have eggs whites so my breakfast included whole eggs and a little bit of oil for the pan and how many calories in imitation crabmeat anyway? The pepperjack cheese slice can’t be worth that much can it? Oh and all the stir fried veggies on top are free!

The hardest part was the washing, cutting and storing of all those veggies and I had to take all the beer out of the fridge .. well that is a good thing, who wants to drink warm beer anyway? Wow.. my fridge is finally full of food, not beer and snacky delicious things. The only fast things I can eat now are carrots and celery, ah well.. it is only seven days.

I managed two days with salad for supper but the asparagus is looking kinda sad and I need to belly up and do something amazing with it. Deciding to ‘stir fry/steam’ it (I made up a new term) in Italian dressing and go from there, I got to work.

I added some cut tomatoes for colour and not having any plan decided to throw in some cauliflower (did I mention it is cheap here?) and some broccoli (it was already cut up). Not having a plan is starting to worry me somewhat, I need a protein in there. The imitation crabmeat is all gone and all I have left is turkey wieners.

I throw in a turkey wiener, it looks dumb so I take it out and  decide to slice it lengthways before throwing it back in.. it now looks twice as dumb, this is going downhill fast. Pepper jack cheese slice is next and I am now out of ideas and my enthusiasm is starting to wane. How am I going to serve/eat it I wonder as I gaze into my fridge for some ideas.

didn't get a pic with the wiener in the pan
didn’t get a pic with the wiener in the pan

lettuceI have an Aha ..moment and bring out the romaine .. lettuce wraps!!  I want to tell you that.. pathetic doesn’t even begin to describe this .. the saddest little meal I have ever prepared, never mind trying to eat it.. that half turkey wiener spoiled it I think.

What is even sadder is that I have half of it left-over. The good news is that this is day three and I needed to tighten the curlicue band on my sun visor this morning. They say you lose weight from the head down and I must have lost something.. I know what you’re thinking and I agree..

there it is.. the sad looking wiener and it tastes like it looks
there it is.. the sad looking wiener and it tastes like it looks

But this is only for seven days .. how hard can it be? Mexican squash tonight ..