is happiness only as good as your supply of coffee crisp chocolate bars?


Are you getting tired or dare I say depressed with this lockdown. As for myself I am loath to admit any sort of depression. I prefer just to say I am anti-social, don’t want to do anything or see anyone, which is ironic for the simple reason that we’re in another self imposed exile, and we can’t anyway. So I live in a hell of my own making. To be fair it is not really hell, I do have one tv channel (well I finally added more a week ago) and internet and I do have a pool and a gym. So ok, my hell is in my head, the rest of me can take advantage of all these amenities if I so chose.

I’ve had only one tv channel for almost two years, it is free and HD, I use an antenna. With this lockdown and not being able to go south, I decided to spring for a cheap cable hook up with SaskTel. I can honestly share with you that after one whole week of all these new channels, I am more than likely watching the same shows on the same channel I am used too, go figure.

Anyway back to my lack of admitting my state-of-being. Being in lockdown could be ok as long as someone would stop in and walk us once in awhile or feed us or even pet us, a dog has it better I think. I’m not complaining, well ok that’s a bald faced lie, because here I am ratting on myself. Like who even cares, we each have our own lives to contend with, would it hurt for someone to call me once in awhile? I just need someone to pet me dammit! A cousin phoned me to go out for a safe distanced coffee and I turned her down. So that was dumb, I should have made the effort. Thinking about it now, if she would have offered to pet me I would have jumped at the offer and hung my tongue out. Well you get the picture.

They say misery loves company, but I can’t even imagine having to visit with someone that is miserable. That is also ironic because I was married for 40 years. I hope you laughed at that, too bad I couldn’t. Now that made me laugh, it’s my blog so I can write what I want. At least when married I knew the reason for my not being in a happy space sometimes.

I had a doctors appointment two days ago and along with my prescription I had filled, I added ten Coffee Crisp chocolate bars and a bag of Hawkins cheezies. I still have four left, hmmm make that three, cheezies didn’t make it through that night. In these dire times we need stuff to keep us from too much introspection because it is our thoughts that do us in. OR.. maybe it is just boredom. Ok, down to two coffee crisps. Adding those TV channels for my viewing pleasure did nothing to help this funk that is surrounding me, and now I am going to be out of coffee crisp chocolate bars .. damn.

Food, junk food is a welcome distraction, it does not cure what ails us but it sure helps in the short term. Thank goodness for the Amazing Race and The Voice and did any of you see that new show from David E Kelly (what tv show did he do before this?) Big Sky is the name of it, holy shit was that an ending or what? I sure didn’t see that coming! Leading a ¬†sheltered life, I avoid viewing stuff that will give me nightmares, but that was totally unavoidable and now I have to watch it again next Monday. So there’s that to look forward too. What do you do to keep from getting bored? Do not suggest knitting or sewing or making blankets out of plastic bags, I’d sooner expose myself.. without a mask. I was going to say slit my wrists, which is my standard answer, but that could be tempting fate right now. If I had to listen to country music all the time, then that is an acceptable fate.

So this blog is about nothing and everything, which is my life right now, does it make sense.. doesn’t matter. Thank goodness that I can write, but even that is daunting especially if you are writing a book, which I am. Concentrating on a book it too much work, my blog is so much more fun to write. See what happened there, I am already out of my funk and I’m also out of coffee crisp chocolate bars hmmmm. So I see a little trip in my future to restock up on my happiness.. oops I mean necessities.

How about you, what gets you out of your own special needs place?

ps: I do not … repeat DO NOT have a ‘crafty’ bone in my body, my sister is the ‘crafty’ one.