What a difference a year makes ..

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What a difference a year makes …

Here is sit, unsure about what I’m going to write, but the urge to write is insistent, which means I need to get something out. American Thanksgiving is over and a memory from a year ago appeared on my Facebook page. WOW, I sure didn’t see that coming, it kinda of blindsided me. I was not in a good place, at this time, last year. My trip south was horrible and I was sick as well. It’s not often I’m in a bad place but there it was, usually when I least expect it, and well.. sometimes shit just happens, right?

I was lamenting being single, and while I’m still single, I was also feeling old.  Although I didn’t get any younger since then I did bounce back to  “You’re only as old as you feel.”  It’s true I had some sort of bug that was knocking me down and maybe that is why we get sick. How else would we know how good it feels to be healthy? It makes a big difference, and so does having a positive outlook on life.  Both are hard to accomplish when you are down and out, or sick.

A month and a half after that blog a new man entered my life and this set me on a new journey I could never have predicted.. in a good way :  )

I reread that older blog (www.my-thirdlife.com/nana unfiltered) a couple of times and I’m still in awe. I confessed to a few feelings I’d been having and basically let it all out. Sometimes it’s good to let it out, oh and I was sick, so there’s that. I believe what we put out to the universe brings us what we need. Well let me clarify this, I really need a million dollars but that ain’t gonna happen. But I did confess to missing having someone special loving me, I was coming to terms with that. I had also taken myself off the dating sites, I need to write a book about that.. someday.

One short year later my life has changed so dramatically, who woulda thought that? I had been pretty much content with my journey here and what life had in store for me. I was used to making my own decisions and creating my own distractions. I love writing and interacting with new people and what’s not to like about living in the sunny warm weather of Arizona? Did I mention how every day is sunny?  oh.. and no snow! Now I have a new love and everything is changing.. except my age.

Yikes! Is this what I needed to write about? That age thang again…

There is a couple in our park here that are having real aging thing problems, she is a writer as well as an author of many books. Dementia is slowly erasing her memories and he is having serious heart problems and also stressful anxiety looking out for her. This hit me in particular because we shared a special camaraderie because of our writing exploits. We often traded barbs about it, she “nobody reads blogs” and I ” nobody reads sappy true romance books anymore.” We would then laugh it off as we lounged and visited in the pool here.

It’s painful to be around her now and witness the slow erosion of her personality and quick wit.  He is also getting weaker, stress is the real harbinger of all illnesses I think.  If we can keep the stress at bay life could be much more meaningful or at the least … ummmm comfy? I don’t know how to describe it but it brings me face to face with my own mortality and maybe that’s why I needed to write this blog.  It has brought home to me the shortness of life as we age, sans sickness or especially dementia. To have everything we’ve learned, accomplished, and felt even.. erased from our memory banks forever… lordy lordy it’s painful just writing this.

So I need to move on now… and I’m loving my new life with someone who loves me for the person I am. I know it sounds weird but trying to live a life to someone else’s expectations, never worked for me before. I think loving yourself, warts and all is key. I know I’m not perfect, far from it, but I’m okay with who I’ve turned out to be.

I’m doing the best I know how, to be a productive and honest person. I want my life to mean something, I also want to leave something behind for my kids.. and no, it won’t be money! My hope is that I will evenually write something meaningful to help other women live free to be themselves. I have something in the works, I just need to finish it before my time is up.

Surround yourself with positive energy…

Don’t let negativity suck you into the vortex of a misery-loving company..

Get out of your comfort zone and try new things ..

You are never too old to quit living while you are here… think about that one okay?

That’s all she wrote.. love, like age, does not have a number, and happiness is the place setting on my table of life right now.

Copyright

November 26th 2023