Hello forties/fifty somethings, meet the sixties/seventy somethings
The fodder for this blog has come from Facebook, my social media fix this morning gave me the inspiration to write this. As women, we always feel the need to improve ourselves. I was not any different than the forty to fifties somethings age group that are doing the same things as us back then. Self-help books, listening to tapes, and attending seminars, I did it all. I followed diet trends, was always looking to lose those extra pounds and although I never really got into jogging, I did walk. I could walk the whole city of Saskatoon if I wanted to and I sometimes did.
Transcendental meditation was hot and my secret word was ‘sharing’ sometimes I fell asleep during my ‘trances’ and yes I always felt much better after. Improving my mind and body and therefore becoming a better person, mother, wife, whatever. I was also an entrepreneur and businesswoman, four hair salons, and a successful catering company built from scratch, whatever I set out to do, I did it. Working best when I was backed into a corner and having to figure out solutions, life challenges were always on my doorstep. Forever improving myself along the way ‘The Secret” was no secret to me.
Do all women go through this I wonder? I see it happening over and over again, or did it ever really stop, women are pushing themselves to achieve it all. Looking back for me was never really beneficial, I am a go-forward kinda gal, what’s next? Give me a challenge, an idea, something I can sink my mind into and help find a solution. I would make a great consultant now because there is nothing I haven’t tried or experienced. A bankruptcy in my past did not kill me, it only slowed me down and made me humble. A lesson learned.
Women’s struggles are real, different from a man’s I think. Our struggles encompass everyone’s happiness besides our own, and there-in is the reason why we can’t have it all. Stated simply is this, we cannot make everyone happy, that’s a fact I didn’t makeup, what makes us think we can I wonder? Of course, we want it all, we want it for our kids and our partners and, and.. like what’s with that? We give everyone else a break but never cut ourselves some slack, crazy huh?
WHY do we need so many self-help books, these are mostly for women you know, when was the last time you saw a man reading a self-help book? Me neither, they don’t need them I guess. They have us to tell them how to live their lives, that was a joke btw, or was it? Struggles for me in my old age are very different than for those women in their forties and fifties. The forty/fifty gals struggle to get up early to go out jogging in the morning, I struggle to bend over and get my shoes on, long-handled shoehorns were made for me. My exercise is comprised of all my trips to the bathroom at night. Some nights I get a really good workout if I don’t follow the not drinking after 2:00 pm rule.
As we age the passage of time is etched into our faces. Our bodies also feel this and start a downward spiral. Sixty sneaks up so fast it’s a wonder we don’t get whiplash. We make adjustments and we cope, but there was something magical and freeing about sixty for me. Sixty set my mouth free, no one listens to an old person, and if they do they don’t give you any credence anyway. It also came to pass that I realized there was less time ahead of me than what I figured, that was a sobering fact. I set about writing my own life stories in hopes that others would come to realize the value of our own journeys here .
So to all you forties/fifties women that obsess about looking older, my God will you just look in the mirror, you are still young! Not one of us older gals has looked back on our pictures and thought geez, I wish I had looked younger. We look back on those pictures and laugh, we thought we were fat, how many of us wish we could have that body back? Ya, me too, what I would do with it now and it wouldn’t be jogging. Just think of the fun I could have, hmmm it would probably kill me, but I would die happy, just saying
The point I’m trying to make here for all you reading this out there, you forty/fifty-somethings, go easy on yourselves. You are not responsible for everyone’s happiness, only your own. Maybe you think you can have it all, but think about what you really want instead ok? You are not needy in the self-help and physical appearance department, in fact, I’m sure you could give advice to those twenty/thirty-somethings, am I right, well am I? As women I think we already have an advantage in life, we are NOT men. Now there is another can of worms and we don’t want to go there…
Sure you struggle, we all deal with challenges but really, just be a good person and try to live the best you can. Enjoy each day and choose to be happy. My life is much shorter now and if I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t waste my precious time on improving whatever it was I thought I needed. I would love more, eat more as in really great food and not the junk food crap, savoring every bite. I would have gotten a divorce years sooner than I did, a surprise ending here I know. Pay attention along the way to what brings joy into your life and pursue it, tune into yourself, you don’t need a book to tell you that. Trust me : )
“living my best life”
copyright May 20, 2020