HELL YA.. THIS IS MY JAM!

“Cherylle, I know this has been a long journey of ups and downs. Highs and lows, laughter and tears.. so many fucking tears! BUT I believe in you and I love you for everything you have been working so hard to achieve. I am proud of who you are today and I promise from this day forward I will always believe in you.”

If you are reading this please take a moment to show some love to yourself because its a long, lonely and confusing road not truly believing in yourself. Thank you Andrea Chalmers. for sharing this on your Facebook page.

Hi.. my name is Cherylle/Nana and I write this blog. The above caught me by surprise when I read it, believe it or not, it brought me to tears. When you are finished reading this blog I want you to read the above with your name in there. I am really interested to hear how you felt.

There was another gal on Facebook that shared her story and it too brought on a rush of feelings inside me. Most Facebook posts are happy, love and look at me kinda postings. It is not often we see a friend talk about their struggles in the past year and the reality of what their life has been like.

I had no idea of one such friends hardships. This made me feel like I could have maybe helped her somehow with either encouragement, or just even checking in on her once in awhile. How many of us are on there with smiley faces but in reality we are crying on the inside? Maybe we need to share a little more of ourselves.. like our real selves?

I joined Facebook to see what my daughter was up too.. I’ll also share that she ended up blocking me for a year and a half as well. Writing my blog and posting it on FB was too real and raw for her. I was coming off a 40 year marriage and trying to make sense of my life. I have since managed to balance what is appropriate to share.. my kids no, my love-life or lack of it .. hell yes!

My struggle to find myself again after that long marital union was painful. I pride myself on being a positive and upbeat kinda person, and it was hard to admit I failed. My writing about my life gives me comfort sometimes and insights that I wouldn’t ordinarily have. It took me all these years to find that writing is my real passion.. but better late than never, right?

Do you have something in your life that you are passionate about? If its a partner.. lucky you and I envy you, insert smiley face here :  ) Maybe its your job and how fortunate is that? How many of us get to work in a job we are passionate about? Actually I was passionate about both my previous careers, so I really am thankful for that.

My real passion though is writing and the opening paragraph is what I needed to see for my own personal wake-up call. When I get down on myself it is kinda brutal. I blame everything on my lack of abilities to make everything right with the world. How many of us do that I wonder? We are not superwomen, but we try to be dontcha think?

I’m not responsible for world peace but my prolific ‘letters to the editor’ would make you think otherwise. Where does that need to express my opinion come from? Injustice infuriates me and I feel I have to do something, anything.. ! Thank goodness my kids are the only ones that have the ability to make me cry. Reading that first paragraph though, brought on some tears, I’m not gonna lie..

I went totally off topic here and that is the story of my life. Being so much older than all of you, I want you to have confidence and admiration in yourselves, to accomplish anything you set your mind to! I am on the right path, I want to be a writer. What do you want to be?

This message I want to share with you, as well as myself. Read that first paragraph out loud with your own name! I believe in me and I believe in you too, we all have that in us.. we just need to spit it out!

We’ve come a long way baby.. we are so worth it, and I am so worth it.. fucking hell yesssss .. Cherylle/Nana you are the most deserving person, I believe in you and I love you…

AND  I believe in you too…