She is living with husband number eight and he is 15 years younger than her. Yes she has been married eight times (twice to the same man). Although having met a few times already I got to know her better while doing aqua-fit in the pool (she has back problems).
We discussed where to get a really good burger .. we always talk about food when we are exercising .. and why is that I wonder? She suggests we go for lunch at a place she likes. It is called Brewers and it was good, when we are finished she takes me to all the great thrift shops in the area.
I zero in on a piece of catering equipment at ‘Amberlys Place’ and then laugh at myself .. what the heck do I need that for, but I buy it anyway.
We end up bonding over a piece of jewelry at Sears and why not? She is known for all her jewelry and she helped me pick out a gorgeous sapphire ring set with nine deep blue sapphires encircled with 34 diamonds. It has a yellow clearance tag on it 70% off!
I may need batteries for my golf cart (six.. at hundred dollars a pop) so I am really fudging on this ring.. I mean if the cart dies I can’t really ride the ring around now can I? My cart.. or.. the ring, hmmm. I opt out for a some cheap earing’s and out pops a 20% off coupon for fine jewelry.. omg what are the odds?
We have now spent the better part of an hour with the sales gal .. my new friend bought a piece of jewelry for her hubby. We laugh and joke and I say I need to find a man with lots of money but the only prospects in the park is a Mexican yardman.
Sales gal informs me they carry around wads of cash.. I say.. “well.. I may have to sleep with him”! She is a little taken aback and says “but what if he is married”? I say “well then I guess I’ll have to sleep with his wife too.. but only one at a time!” She is rolling on the floor now and we are all laughing.
I ask if I can use the coupon on the ring ? She says sure and we go back to ring display and I get really excited .. IT IS CHRISTMAS and I really could use something to cheer me up! So we all make the collateral decision that if the cart breaks down ‘screw it’ I’ll walk! Lord knows walking is not gonna hurt me any!
She rings it up and it spits out a message that coupon can’t be used on clearance items… waw! Teresa almost cry’s with me now, but she points out her supervisor. Ah well I have nothing to lose so I go and talk to her supervisor and she asks if Teresa put me up to it? I say ya and she softens and walks me back to jewelry and gives me the extra 20%!!
My heart is still doing double time from this exquisite purchase for myself. It is my Xmas present to me. This ring is so beautiful and was 90% off! Well ..long story short the ring is still on my finger and my golf cart is limping along.
Lizzy (my new friend.. I cannot disclose her real name.. she wants to keep a low profile) had one husband that showered her with expensive jewelry (he is dead now). She is very generous as well and donated a particularly stunning piece to a charity that raised five thousand dollars from it. What is it with women and ‘bling’?
We also like shopping .. ah well… this could be not so good because I think it could be costly. I wonder if they have a shoppers anonymous here? Na.. I am not that far gone..am I .. Na! Walmart is our next stop. I spot this huge gaudy green necklace and ask Lizzy if she would wear it? She surprises the hell out of me by saying she liked it!
I buy her this necklace only if she promises to wear it to the Christmas dinner at the clubhouse.. I can’t wait to see it on her! It cost a whole ten dollars but before she seen the price she said she couldn’t allow me to buy her something so nice, we only just met.. lol. I said .. relax, I don’t expect you to marry me. I.. of course.. want to see her actually wear this huge piece of gaudy jewelry.
Ok long story short she goes out that night and gets TWO compliments on the necklace and next day she is still wearing it and two stones fell out!! So I took it back and couldn’t replace the exact same one. Sales gal said they are having a run on that jewelry
Now here is the kicker… I get back home and turn on Good Morning America and the female announcer has on THAT SAME NECKLACE! (I swear it was from the same rack of jewelry) I am going back to buy another piece for my new friend. I will also be wearing my Elizabeth Taylor worthy sapphire ring! Stones better not fall out of this baby…
And.. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!