Dear Frank.. from the frozen wasteland of Canada

A dear American friend of mine hurt my feelings when he said that Canada, 100 miles north of the U.S. border is all frozen wasteland most of the year. He didn’t apologize when I took offense, I realized later he was joking … So today tongue in cheek I am responding to him.

Dear Frank

Please don’t take this the wrong way because I love you to pieces, but without our Canadian wasteland you’d be pretty much sol. Well maybe not literally, figuratively speaking though, your comfort level would take a huge nosedive. You are from New York and lets just use your state and my province (sorta like a state) for comparison reasoning here.

I’ll start out with a fun fact you may not know and just to keep it light before I go deep. I think Yankee stadium and Coney island are famous for their hotdogs correct? Well chances are the mustard on that hotdog came from my back yard. Over 50% of the worlds mustard comes from seeds grown here.. I know, who knew? I love mustard and our catering company produced a mustard so good that people would kill for the recipe.

Being the caterer that you are, you probably use a lot of dried beans, chic peas and lentils in your catering business. Well here you are at my back door again… hmmm, we supply 95% of the worlds lentils, did you know that? Saskatchewan has one of the richest and fertile soils in the world and encompasses 46% of Canadas growing space.. not bad for a frozen wasteland eh?

Ok so now the sucker punch Frank.. ! New York’s (your home) electricity is powered by 56% nuclear energy. Does it get cold in New York Frank, do you cook with electricity? Well guess what.. Saskatchewan (my home) supplied the uranium for your nuclear Power plants! In fact, with-out our uranium you may get a little chilly. . Oh and btw.. we probably supplied the experts needed to build those plants. (you could get it from the Aussies or Kazakhstan but you got it from us)

Canadas largest export is our people.. ironic isn’t it?  We don’t have a huge population base but apparently what we lack in numbers we make up for in smarts! Our expertise is exported throughout the world because we share what we know. We are highly paid and respected in todays world for this knowledge. Lastly Frank we are known to apologize a lot.. sorry/not sorry!

oh.. just one more little nugget, my wasteland doesn’t include an ocean but it does possess almost 10,000 lakes, on 251,000 square miles and yes, you read that right! (and that’s just in my home province of Saskatchewan)