Why must I share my inner feelings with everyone? My kids unfortunately, feel the same way.. “geez mom do we really need to know that?” Well, don’t read it then. When I write stuff down and put it out there into the universe.. it gives me closure. Well maybe not always, new shit invariable crops up, then here we go again.
You would think as we age there is not a lot of shit we will have to deal with. Better keep those shovels ready though, cause some of us are hoarders, and we let it pile up. Do some see us as not having feelings, you know.. cause we are old.. well I am not that old! My soul is still young, it didn’t age with the rest of me.
I need to find a way to get rid of the hurts, and let’s be honest here, it is my own perceived hurts. This is a two edged sword, I love unconditionally and this makes me a sitting duck for careless barbs thrown my way. Some really hurt and are not meant to maim, but they do. I know this because of the ones I threw at my own mom. I wish I could take some of them back.. maybe all of them even.
So my blog today is to start out this brand new year with a strategy .. to deflect ‘stray barbs’ from hurting my oversensitive heart. Maybe I will change them into cast iron frying pans and hit the offenders mentally over the head with them. That seems a little much though, maybe change that to Tfal ones. Na.. cast iron is much more satisfying!
Pretending I’m deaf could be helpful, but more a blessing to some that wish I would shut up, already. Whatever makes some people think that our age defines us, I wonder? I actually know what you are going through and what you are thinking and saying.. because I have gone through it, thought it and said it.. long before you were even born! Think about that for awhile ok?
We need serenity and self worth in our later years, we need to be cherished and adored. Ok .. so I will settle for adored, loll.. actually I will settle for respect. My heart is invested in the well being of my children, my children’s children and that of my close friend (I do have one). I want to be respected for all my years of just being here, also for loving and caring unconditionally.. for you.
So on this note, I have landed on what my New Years resolution will be .. I have decided to change all the misguided comments, advice and barbs thrown my way, into magical BUTTERFLIES! Don’t like my attitude.. swoosh.. there goes a butterfly, don’t like my food choices.. swoosh.. there goes another butterfly, you don’t understand why I .. swoosh.. swoosh .. swoosh.. BANG!.. oooops where did that cast iron frying pan come from? Hmmm….