Baby girl

43 years ago I was cooking and blending all your baby food.. nothing but the best for my first baby. I wrote a 17 page journal for my mom on your every movement, so she could better understand how to take good care of you. Ya.. I know she raised 7 kids and ended up being a single mom, but we were never so special as you were to us!
My mom let on years later, when I come across those pages.. that she never read them! She looked at me and said.. “really.. you expected me to read all that?”
 I had to leave you and go back to work after two short weeks and I cried like my heart was broken. I owned my own business and not working wasn’t even an option. My meticulous instructions to my mom (which she never read) done,  it was also understood that she was NEVER to take you in her car.. I did not trust her driving!
Sugar, ice cream and esp. chocolate NEVER crossed your lips on my watch. We were smitten with you.. it was love at first sight. You were absolutely perfect in every way.. the joy of you filled my heart to overflowing, I didn’t know I could ever love so much.
With all that love and joy.. comes deep heart-ache as well. When you hurt, I hurt.. it is a fact of being a mom. We don’t always get it right but we try, my god, how we try.
Awhile back you were here to visit me in my winter home down south. You cringed in your seat and gritted your teeth as I drove and showed off the sights here in the desert.. you didn’t trust my driving! Geez.. come to think of it, I am the one that gave my mom driving lessons.. hmmmm
For a whole week we hit every great place to eat and stuffed ourselves to overflowing. At Olive Garden we enjoyed the excellent appetizers, pasta dishes and we ordered the Italian fried doughnuts with warm raspberry sauce, for dipping.. omg kill us now! Sugar be dammed!
 If I could go back in time and do it all over again.. I would do it in a heartbeat. I would however, play with you more and maybe not give you so much ‘gripe water’. You seem to have an affinity for alcohol.. was it the gripe water I wonder? It’s what we did for teething and upset stomachs and.. well, everything. I know you understand because you are a great mom too.. and you also do your best.
I cried when you left.. the visit was not long enough, YOU need to make more time to play with me, ironic.. huh?
I love you so much baby girl.. your 43rd birthday is but a number. You are still my joy. My only wish for you is what all moms wish for their precious children.. to be happy, because when you hurt, I hurt.
Happy Birthday Baby Girl
I know I wrote this on your 41st birthday but I tweaked it a bit and it bears repeating.. I love so much.