Warning .. sexually explicit .. read at your own risk.

WARNING.. sexually explicit, Fun Fearless Females only… this blog was inspired by an article in Cosmo.”

Well, here I go again making my kids’ eyes bleed. Do not read this if you are related to me. Fair warning! My opinions are my own, and I write about everything. I don’t make stuff up, but I do omit names to protect the truly stupid, and that includes me sometimes.

Cosmopolitan magazine had an article that I read with much interest. It said, “Somewhere along the way, the idea spread that making love is cheesy, but romantic sex, whether with your husband or your hookup, can be seriously hot.” As some of you already know, Cosmo radio and the magazine were part of my sexual educational journey back into the single life after a forty-year liaison that ended amicably.

Sleeping around when you are in your twenties is ok but if you are over sixty, please nana … our ears are bleeding. My friends (married ones) didn’t want to discuss sex at all. The fact is, most were sleeping in separate beds or wished they were sleeping in separate beds.

So, there I was, alone and trying to figure out how to sleep around without becoming a slut or a whore. The fact is, I wanted it very much. That was never a problem for me, but where to start, hmmm… that presented a dilemma.

Remember back in the day (this is for my older readers), how smart were we? We couldn’t use tampons because it would take our ‘virginity’ so ok… that really aged me, didn’t it? And when we lost that sacred piece of skin, it was like what the hell? What just happened?

Seriously, the whole best part of ‘making out’ was the making out, without doing the actual ‘deed’. Once done, in fact, it was ‘anti-climactic,’ and that is literally the truth; there was no big ‘climax’ for us women. I wonder if that still holds today, or are our kids and grandkids much more aware of what this is all about.

I’m sure they are well aware of the birds and the bees and sex on your knees. In fact, maybe ‘virginity’ is obsolete, and oral is in? Seems to me from what I was reading and the stuff I was listening to on Cosmo radio, that could even be a girl’s first experience nowadays?

Now, how romantic is that for a first time? I’m sorry, but doing it would be much more preferable, at least it wouldn’t leave an aftertaste. Pregnancy could be a concern, but I’m sure most people practice safe sex now, right? And really, how can you even look him in the eyes after that…  and then kiss him? No, just don’t do it.

Now I am not against oral sex. Don’t get me wrong, I just think it should be inside a committed, loving encounter. My feeling is that you need to at least have some feelings for each other to make it mutually satisfying for both. My advice is nix the BJ’s on a first date, especially if it is one-sided. We deserve better.

Sure, I’m older, but I have always enjoyed sex, and yes, I was somewhat naïve about what’s going on now (Brazilians and manscaping and all that). I’m certainly not an expert now, nor will I ever be, but not for a lack of experience. I have been dabbling. I keep abreast of what’s happening. “I read Cosmo Magazine!” You laugh but take a peek and see for yourself.

I’ve been on ‘Dating sites’ and met my share of ‘on the edge perverts’ and the truly ‘undatable’. Young guys really do want to sleep with older women and are not shy about sending pictures of their ‘package’. The thing holding me back was, how do you justify sleeping with someone young enough that you could have nursed him? And… what do you talk about after the fact, well?

I worry about the young boys now having so much access to this shit. It really is disturbing and it’s not a normal medium to learn what love and sex are all about. I still despair at finding a suitable alternative to the sexual side of my life at my age, and no, I am not into abstinence. I’m still alive.

Which brings me back to the article in Cosmo. It seems like this gal is ‘waking up’ from her sexual odysseys to actually ‘making love’ with her man. Ahhhh, now we are coming full circle, making. Love is not just doing the sex act.

It was in the September issue of 2015. ‘Get Your Sex and Love Inspo Here’. This is something I came to learn as well (my older and wiser self, lol), and it was quite a revelation.  I figured on just doing the sex thing and forgetting about getting involved. I was going to be like a man (sorry guys, but I figured if men could have one-night stands, why not us?), being single again and seeing the world, it was a whole new ball game out there.

When they say, “the best is yet to come,” that literally held true for me. Was it because of my age? Was I wiser? Was I more relaxed and open, or maybe I just didn’t care, and something magical happened? I’m not sure. The thing is, the best for me came in a loving relationship. I came to know a new level of sexual intimacy that I didn’t know existed, and this was a revelation for me. It came at a cost of letting myself love again, with someone who was not afraid to give.

I experienced some bad ones as well, but how do you know unless you sample what it is you want or need? I think we have come full circle again. Remember the free sex and ‘Loving Spoonful’ of the sixties and seventies. Well, I may have been there, but I was not a participant. lol.

I think what this all boils down to is this: skip the gratuitous sex. Hold back the sexual part of you to share in a loving, reciprocal relationship. There is nothing more satisfying and life-affirming. All the rest is just sex and really not gratifying at all. May as well bring out the dildo.

copyright

April 2016