you don’t bring me flowers..

He walked in the door with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Having never bought me flowers, ever, I was equally surprised and suspicious. “What’s with the flowers” I asked, “what.. can’t I buy you flowers for no reason” he asked. Considering we have been married for many years, with kids already, and he has never once bought flowers for me, yes I was suspicious.

This back and forth about the flowers got nowhere, so in the end I graciously accepted them. I am a lover of flowers, I am a sucker for flowers, unfortunately I married a man that would never think to buy me flowers, just to make me happy. He is my ex now, after 40 years of no flowers, in the end it wasn’t meant to be. I would do it again though, only because of our two amazing kids. I would just opt out a few years sooner than I did, but hindsight is just that.

Back to the flowers now. It did come out a couple years later that the bouquet he supposedly bought for me was actually from a stranded female motorist that we had stopped to help one night. She remembered where he worked and sent the flowers to his workplace. Let me say here to all reading this, always buy flowers for your partner, a happy wife is a happy life.

My love for fresh flowers is a part of me. I buy them for myself and I also buy them for my daughters and granddaughter, they are worth it and I love them so. Back to my flower story. When we divorced we split everything evenly, including mandatory government pension payments, receivable when the time came to retire. It came to my attention after a couple years into retirement that my ex was getting more than I was. I assumed it would be even. Bringing it to the governments attention involved my lawyer and our divorce agreement. This was not a punishment for my ex but rather a jointly agreed upon part of our divorce.

This took awhile to iron out and I did lose out on two years worth of back payments but eventually got what was rightfully mine. So back to the flower story again. I told my lawyer that if this finally got straightened out, I would be using the extra money each month to buy fresh flowers, and I do just that. When I have company over and they comment on my beautiful flowers I say “thank you, my ex bought them for me.” This makes my heart happy and I positively glow and I’m sorry/not sorry if any of you think less of me.

This is my life and I live it my way now. “I am where I’m meant to be” is a favorite saying of a friend of mine. Something else has also occurred to me as I was writing this. The stories of my life so far, are all encased in this living breathing human being that I so carelessly take for granted.  Most of us try to live ‘right’ striving for balance and happiness in our lives. Our struggles, the highs, the lows and even sometimes the insurmountable pressures of just living, suck us dry. Fresh flowers given with love could make such a difference, don’t you think? The fact that I actually asked for them, and never received, tells a lot about our relationship in the marraige. The flowers towards the end didn’t count .. it was too little too late.

Don’t wait until it is too late for you. We all need some sort of recognition for our love given freely, and if you can’t say the words then at least say it with flowers. One solitary rose is a beautiful thing, given in love. Don’t be a hoarder with your feelings, the good ones. Love doesn’t cost us anything if given freely, it only causes heart-ache if held back in spite or used for bartering.

My wish is for all of us to have love in our lives and if not love, then lets fill it with flowers. Happy Valentines day everyone.