Lake-life, when the smoke clears and the dust settles, the duck is still here…

Lake life, when the smoke clears and the dust settles, the duck is still here…

The smoke is all-permeating and on a relentless journey to invade and envelope everything in its path. At first, it was a nuisance, why do forest fires burning up north have such an impact on us in the south? After a day or two of inhaling these smoking forest fires I have had enough, day three or is it four brings glorious sunshine and blue skies. Ahhhh.. that is much better, I now have a new respect for our freshly scrubbed clean air.

My cabin is once again my nesting spot and here I am in my ‘office’ on the deck at 6:00 in the morning. The lake is working its magic as well. All my cares and whatever stress I carry at this stage in my life melt away while I sit contemplating this peaceful serenity, the shimmering lake out front surrounded by lush greenery.

Now that is a pretty fancy way to describe an old gal sipping coffee on her deck in her robe with hair sticking up all over and picking her nose while scratching herself, and just all-around content with life in general.

I’m keeping a watchful eye out for a family of Canada geese, two adults and four little ones, they were just here this week. My sister is a mom to one of these little creatures (orphaned up north and brought to her because she is a sucker for orphaned creatures). The duck follows her everywhere, if she moves out of sight it squawks and chirps something fierce. Her new sport is ‘bug hunting’ to feed this creature, the nastier the bug the better.. ugh.

The novelty, after a couple of weeks of this, however, is wearing thin. My sister has protected it from all sorts of pitfalls including a neighbor’s dog. It seems one of those electric zappers on flyswatters works well on a dog’s nose, we haven’t seen it since, that dog is probably toast.. sorry/not sorry.images (133)

My sister is the pied piper of people, this has been so, her whole life. Children from all over have come under her spell, I think because she is the quintessential child herself. She is informative and entertaining,  full of gross things to show kids and adults alike. She is also a fierce protector of all her brood and any stragglers.. including an orphaned baby Canada goose.

Baby goose
Baby goose

She attracts people like a magnet, with her infectious laugh, down-to-earth attitude, sense of fun, and quirky sense of humor (which we share, much to our mother’s dismay). Don’t get too close though, she has one of those electric flyswatter zappers.. just saying!

Our mother often despaired of us, first because we didn’t become Las Vegas ‘showgirl’ dancers (a secret desire of hers), and second, neither one of us married Tom Selleck. I am still trying to get him into my bed though and he is on my bucket list.

Our shared humor was not amusing to our mom. “I don’t know where you two got that from.. it certainly wasn’t me,” she often lamented. I can still hear her as we laugh at something somewhat off. “Omg, I can’t believe you two come from two different fathers! You laugh at the same stupid things and you even sound alike!” Which made us laugh even more,  for her benefit of course. (rest in peace Mom)

Now I forgot what I was writing about .. oh well, it started with smoke and turned into writing about my sister, and now my mom.

images47AZFP3KMy whole family is here this week, well not my kids, but my sister and her kids and my cousins, there are many of us. This week’s mission is to find a loving home for her precious goose. Now there are a lot of geese in ponds or by the side of the road but she doesn’t want her baby to wander up onto the road and become roadkill.

I awoke early yesterday and hit the bathroom thinking I would go back to bed after. While I was peeing I let out a big yawn.. all my windows were open. Out of nowhere, a big voice booms out “Well seeing as how you are up you may as well make me some coffee!”

Geeze, she scared the piss out of me, well I was peeing anyway. I look out the bathroom window and there she is sitting on my son’s deck next door, waiting for my family of geese to appear. I also thought it was a good thing I didn’t have my boyfriend here or her ears would be bleeding. He is not very quiet, if you know what I mean.. okay so neither am I. My kid’s eyes are bleeding now if they are reading this, ah well.

The geese do not appear and that is strange, once they check out my digs they usually visit every day. Maybe they sense an alien goose from another province trying to infiltrate their tight-knit flock. Just as well, as much as I like observing them they do use my lawn as a bathroom, it can get messy.

While we are on that subject, her goose has picked up a new name, goosey Lucy is turning into Diarrhea Duck. Now know this, my sister can gut a fish and carefully examine all its contents, while all the kids gather around watching in awe! But, she will gag at someone else’s farts but not her own though.. she will roll up the windows in the car and make everyone smell them, while she laughs like a banshee!

The goose is one of her own now so she has no problem cleaning up after him, wonders never cease. We are choking somewhat as he leaves a deposit right beside the table while we’re having a potluck at her place. There she is, smiling and saying it’s only baby goose poop.. get over it. Ah well, he is kinda cute.

Smokey morning
Smokey morning

The next morning the smoke is back with a vengeance. The news says this smoke is even drifting all the way down to Kansas in the states. I can hardly see across the lake.. when did our world become so small? This air is not good for children and old people and unfortunately, I fall into one of those groups now.. and when did that happen?

Here comes sis with ‘diarrhea duck’ in tow, my cousin was also here to ‘borrow’ back the baking powder she lent me yesterday. My cousin points out a ‘double butt ugly’ bug to my sister and she picks it up to feed it to her baby.

Butt ugly bug
Butt ugly bug

First, she has to tell us what it is, spruce beetle.. AND they bite! She points out its fangs and how it squeals when you squeeze it and I am freaking out and say “Get that thing out of here”! I change my mind after hearing it squeal and decide to get it on video.

I go in for a close-up while she is making it squeal and then she jabs it into my face.  I jumped back and squealed like a banshee, knocking over my cousin’s coffee and almost tipping the whole table, geez. She has such a sick sense of humor.. and no, that was not funny.

When the dust settles I sarcastically tell her she may as well give up her quest to find a home for that lame duck. Our ducks are onto this ‘alien’ one from Alberta, the the word is out, no fraternizing or cross-border interbreeding. Her duck then proceeds to leave a deposit on my deck.

My cousin leaves to make pancakes for her brood “Don’t forget to text me when they are ready” I say and my sister wanders off as well after scaring me yet again with that stupid bug.

As my sister leaves I hear my mom’s voice in my ear and she is laughing and saying “Serves you right .. you two are so alike!” I mentally warn my mom to be quiet or I will dig her up and send her home with my sister.. ya I know, that’s sick…

The circle of life…

copyright July 8th 2015

 

 

 

 

 

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