Miracles inside us

Her diagnosis “stage four ovarian cancer”. An operation to remove a six pound tumor along with I/3 of the  stomach, lengths of large and small intestine..  all the girl parts no longer necessary, well no choices actually, everything goes! The surgeon leaving his mark in a scar running from top of the torso to the bottom.. nothing dainty here

The prognosis.. three to six months, lordy lordy.. what is that like? Why does shit happen to good people I wonder? I have cousins that do not believe there is a god and I also have friends that are devoutly religious. I believe in a higher power.. in some of my bleakest hours, I confess to praying.

Right now the world seems to be such an ugly place.. brought about seemingly, single handedly by one lousy man. How did this happen, when did we become so morally bankrupt that we allow this to continue? But I digress, this is not the focus of my blog today.

I need heroes right now and we need to witness good deeds, hear stories of promise and hopefulness. I want to be thankful for love and joy and family and friends. Lets share the good and uplift where we can.. I refuse to let negativity rule my life, even for a minute! (this is not easy to do) I will watch less news .. I swear!

Last year my favorite uncle accepted his cancer prognosis and the three months left to him. No drama, just calm acceptance.. no extra measures or treatments uh uh. He was totally at peace with this and waited to join the love of his life, already in the ground eight months. Quiet acceptance, his decision, I didn’t like it but I accepted it.

This same uncle, still here, recently received a new prognosis.. being hit by a bus or dying from cancer.. same odds.. WOW! He now has to live and find his joy in living. My joy was certainly increased by this turn of events.. there are some in my life I will find it very hard to live without, if they leave me.

So it is time to get my life in order.. a ‘will’ to tie up loose ends in case I have anything left when I die.. which is highly unlikely. I have not seen my lawyer in geez.. three or four years for sure. Her son is almost finished school and he was in grade school.

I am sitting waiting in her office, looking forward to catching up with our lives. In walks this vision that looks like she stepped out of a vogue magazine! “OMG” I squealed out loud! “Does she look like this every day?” I turn and ask the secretary,  “be truthful” I add, “yes she does” comes my answer.

This beautiful, caring person, my lawyer/friend is sporting a designer dress to die for, strappy heels that would kill me for sure, and a smile from ear to ear! Look at her hair.. a cute French braid that ends at the shaved short nape area (in my first life I owned three hair salons).

I feel something big has transpired in her life to account for this transformation. This change is so dramatic, I need details.. this woman is positively glowing! What happened since I last seen her I wonder?

Her story unfolds over the next hour as we take care of my business and we catch up with our lives.. well hers for sure! This is where the ‘ovarian cancer stage four’ diagnosis comes in. She is young yet but as it turns out, was not really happy in her life choices. She let go of a man not right for her, before the health issues. Then the troubling lump in her stomach that sent her in for a check-up..

The carnage wrecked on her body was pretty thorough and brutal leaving a huge scar. She chose to fight this battle, she has a son depending on her. What circumstances dictate how we come to grips with our decision to live or die? Why do some accept and give up while others fight til the last breath? I know a lot of people that live their life ‘on hold’, but I covered that in another blog.

My friend has an aura, not that I can see it, but I can feel it.. it emanates from within her. She did battle with the big C and has emerged from a cocoon of emotional turmoil, transformed into this beautiful magical butterfly..  flying to wherever she wants!

I wish I could say I had a part in this but I didn’t. She has been cancer free since Xmas and has changed her life to accept only what fuels her joy. That we met up again I’m sure was meant to happen.. I believe in stuff like that. She is already an inspiration to me.. look what she has done.. look what she is doing.. MY GOD just look at her.. wow!

A joyful life full of possibilities.. unfettered enthusiasm, envisioning dreams of happiness for not only our selves but for those we love. Do we all carry these little miracles inside of us..? I happen to think we do. My friend has unleashed hers and it is emanating all over the place.. you go girl!

Can any of us experience this joy! Well actually I think WE CAN.. I think these little miracles are inside us already. We need to root out negativity and choose to live.. the miracles inside us will then unfold daily..

We are here, only.. right now.. that my friends is a secret some of us just know. My friend has faced death, beat it, and chose to live in the miracle of her life.. today.